Reconnecting with the child within

Irrational fears. We all have them, don't we? Sometimes they stem from very logical circumstances and reasons. Nevertheless, they culminate in irrationality. For example, I grew up in a house which had a garden that went all the way into the bank of a monitor-infested lake, where every afternoon, a hideous speckled creature would rise from the green water and into the garden with its belly swollen from its last meal. It was truly horrendous. And understandably so – except that today the horrendousness of it all has extended to the sight of any lizard or reptile, no matter where or what size. I freeze up in fear at the sight of an innocent household gecko the size of my little finger which is quite probably more afraid of me than I am of it. How ridiculous can I be?!

Unfortunately, however, lizards are not the only things I tend to fear irrationally. In fact they are the least of my irrational fears. Life seems to have got cluttered with things I fear, from failure, to disappointment, to rejection. There is no better word than 'irrational' to describe such fears for they are matters I cannot avoid or ignore. They are simply real, and must be faced when they arise. There is nothing to 'fear' in any difficult situation – only something to learn. But for as long as I let them be things I 'fear' they will remain crippling and cumbersome, and I have often found myself desperate to be rid of them.

At such moments of desperation, relief sometimes comes from the most unexpected sources. Take children, for example. Talking to children can bring a great sense of release to the fearful hearted ones among us. They are expert tension-relievers. I am not much of a talker. In fact, of all the members of my family, I am the poorest in terms of my ability to be 'bubbly' and 'energetic' in the company of total strangers, especially when the said strangers are tiny and have missing teeth and humongous appetites for all things sweet.

Children are a different breed of people, I tell you. A shorter, cuter, more active kind, prone to not taking baths and still being so much less self-conscious of the way they smell! They are ultimately more beautiful and more free than the average adult who is tired and heavy laden with cynicism and doubt. Children are what we must strive to be in spirit, and in that light it is encouraging to know we were all children once upon a time.

The little people have a clearer view of the world around them and they know what truly matters in life. It seems, as we grow older, we forget the important things and are distracted by such petty matters as money and accomplishment. We forget hugs and I-love-you's, honesty becomes subordinate to the chances of being rejected by those around us, unconditional trust is placed under the heavy hand of cynicism, finding joy in little things no longer seems possible. Children unknowingly demonstrate life's greatest secrets – the things we must all have known, but somehow forgot along the way. They keep things simple but they also keep things real. And this is a magical quality.

But how does one reconnect with the child within? Like I said before, talking to children and playing with them really does help prod your own memory and dig up jewels from within yourself; gifts in you which you enjoyed as a child. But what about times when you cannot even seem to make that effort? At such times, simply be open, like children are, to better things yet to come.

I was at a luncheon the other day, feeling slightly uncomfortable and not knowing what to do with myself, when a little girl came up to me and asked me if I liked pancakes. It was as simple as that and was sufficient to start a roaring discussion on all breakfast foods, which I remember with a smile every time I see her. She helped make a pleasant memory I would never have had otherwise, and now I have less difficulty recalling the simple things that make us all happy, young and old alike.

Find the child in you if you seem to have lost him or her. That little girl or boy inside you holds the secret to life. The abundant, adventurous, absolutely real life, waiting to be lived.