Insecurities

"Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing, more than any other man in Venice. His reasons are as two grains of wheat, hid in two bushels of chaff: you shall seek all the day ere you find them; and, when you have them, they are not worth the search." – (Merchant of Venice).

Definitely the search or even the justifications of some issues are at times not worth the effort. I would stand by this as it is really astonishing how certain people in our Sri Lankan community being the "me-first think later" type tend to jump into wild conclusions even when issues or for this instance comments don't relate to them.

Last Sunday I had a very intriguing experience which eventually turned out to be my cure for boredom/ my weekend entertainment. It all started when a friend of mine posted a few photographs of him, my self and few other friends on a particular social networking website.

I later posted a comment on one of the photographs which was meant for my friend which was eventually misunderstood by some outsider who had barged into the conversation by jumping into conclusions assuming that the comments were directed at her. I was quite astounded to note how a mere comment on a photograph of my friend and I (which did not include her), would set off some people in sissy fits. At first I assumed she might have been a neurotic who is suffering a sever bounce of depression who had know one else to take out her frustration on.

Well being the true gentleman I am and not wanting a conflict with a lady, I choose to ignore the sordid comment that she had made about me. She once again directed her cynicism and disparage towards me.

At that point I decided to apologize to her and explain things since my comment on my friend's profile seemed to have ruffled her feathers which made me wonder why. Despite the apology and reasoning that I had given, she once again decided to take the can a bit further by putting her two cents worth in a conversation she had not been invited for in the first place. It appeared that she was hungry for conflict rather than resting the case.

However the cynicism and insults became more personal and directed towards me. The issues of pedigree, school, and sexual orientation were used as tools of her insults. There was only one thing lingering on my mind. How did a mere comment which was meant for my friend result to this. Then it struck me!

She was just trying to draw attention! It seemed that she was under the impression that the entire world revolves around her and what she was not getting was attention. I was reading this recent research done by a famous psychologist in the name of Alfred Adler who spoke how people feel insecure about their appearance, background, work or sexual orientation, which eventually results to frustration. Such people think that they are far more superior to others.

This usually occurs if the individual is facing personal problems such as the loss of a close relative or friend, a family which is in the throes of being torn apart or problems that occur in ones work place or institution. This usually leads people to experiment new life styles and habits such as drugs. This type of mental health also results if the said individual is being sexually deprived for a long period of time.

Most people having such insecurities, enjoy any type of attention, even negative. If they are to be given a solid basis in self esteem it is believed that would be the only cure for their overwhelming urge for attention. This is said to be a common phenomenon in those who are said to be confused about their sexual orientation according to many psychologists. However psychologists are yet researching about the said complex. So till then, I could only hope that the said girl would move on, since no one can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.