Everything is going up scandalously! Thank God, no more opposition!

By Rypvanwinkle

“Thaaththa,” Bindu Udagedera asked, “I think our country is about to become a great nation…”
“Why do you say that?” Bindu’s father Percy asked, “has someone said that the war is over?”
“No, of course not,” Bindu said, “it is because of some recent government decisions that we will be able to become a great country once more…”

“And what decisions are those?” Percy wanted to know.
“Why, the government wants to reduce the number of days schools will function to four days per week and have longer school hours to save on fuel…” Bindu said.

“But how will that make us a great nation?” Percy was puzzled.
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “just imagine what would happen if fuel prices rise even more…”
“Why, what would happen then?” Percy asked.

“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “they could even decide to have school only for three or even two days of the week and maybe have school from early morning till late evening…”
“I don’t think that is such a great idea…” Percy was not convinced.

“But,” Bindu persisted, “just imagine what could happen if this policy was adopted across all other sectors…”
“Why, what would happen then?” Percy queried.
“Why, government offices will also work for longer hours for maybe three days a week, Parliament will meet maybe once a month and the Cabinet will meet maybe once or twice a year and we will save so much on fuel that we will automatically develop as a country…” Bindu pointed out.

“I am not so sure about that…” Percy observed, “what is the other government policy that you say will make us a great country once more?”
“Why, thaaththa, now they say that government employees have no right to criticise government decisions or government policies…” Bindu recalled.
“How did that come about?” Percy inquired.

“Why, a media spokesman for the government has said employees of a government run newspaper company cannot criticise the government or its policies…”
“That sounds rather silly,” Percy said, “but how will that help us as a country?”
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “there would be no strikes in any government service anymore because a strike would amount to criticising government policy…”

“And you expect the government run newspapers to carry nothing but praise for the government thereafter…” Percy noted.
“Well, that is if they already don’t…” Bindu said.
“But”, Percy queried, “even then, how will that alone make us a great country?”
“Why, thaaththa, can’t you imagine what would happen thereafter?” Bindu asked.
“Why, what would happen?” Percy was curious.

“Why, thaaththa, all the courts of law and even the Supreme Court will have to approve of everything the government does because even judges are government employees, government officials will have to carry out all instructions issued by politicians without questioning them…”

“And why would they do all that?” Percy wondered.
“Why, thaaththa, not doing any of these will amount to a government employee criticising government policy…” Bindu argued.
“And how will that make our country great?” Percy demanded.
“Why, thaaththa, with no one ever questioning or criticising anything, our efficiency will improve because we now spend so much time doing nothing but criticizing everything…” Bindu pointed out.

“There is one problem though…” Percy declared.
“And what is that, thaaththa?” Bindu asked.
“What about the Opposition? They are also government employees…” Percy recalled, “that would ban them also from criticising the government…”

“Ah, that is not much of a problem, thaaththa…” Bindu said, “they should be able to continue what they are doing now…”
“How can you say that?” Percy was surprised, “that would amount to criticising the government…”
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu asked, “do they indulge in any meaningful criticism of the government now except smash pots, travel in bullock carts and toot horns?”
Percy knew it was difficult to argue with that.