This stark, cold room has been my only friend and consolation for the last 5 days… Sometimes at night, I talk to it, my voice bouncing off its walls in gentle swells of sound make it feel like it talks back. But it doesn’t. Not even the walls are my friends now…
I lie, I’ve actually had DVDs and wireless for the last 3 days but still, that sounded like a fittingly sorrowful intro...
So swine flu eh? What’s the deal with that? Coming over from the UK felt great for me. 6 months away from home, now I was returning to family and hot butter cuttlefish and possessed trishaw drivers and everything that I love about Sri Lanka. The day of my flight out of Heathrow, I felt my throat becoming sore. Must be the 8 weeks of intense studying followed by more weeks of intense enjoyment, or so I thought.
Going through airport security and health checks, I laughed at the Swine Flu warnings, posted everywhere in big red writing. Health forms, cloth masks, worried looks from all the travellers, it was all so funny to me. “Don’t come near me, it might be swine flu!’ my brother said. Oh dear brother, I thought to myself, I’m studying medicine at Cambridge. The swine flu symptoms are just like that of any other flu, relaaaax. To make my point clearer, I coughed in his face. A few times.
And then the fever came.
Good Lord, the second night of symptoms was the worst - I could feel the fever approaching by about midnight. Feeling thoroughly independent after a year at university, I treated myself instead of stumbling over to Amma’s room opening the door and feebly croaking out “Amma….. am..ma…..” like a sick Gollum. I went to the bathroom and sponged myself down to try to cool me down. It worked, for a bit. I tossed and turned trying to cover my body with the quilt, knowing that if I did, it would only make my fever worse, but knowing that it’s oh soo good as well.
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This may sound weird, but I regard fever as a drug. When I have it, I enjoy the hours of lying completely enclosed in blankets, the warm air circulating around me, driving my head to fantasies I would never experience out of the delirium. One time, I had an epic battle between new and old age forces playing itself out on the battlefield that was my lower torso. COOL!!! But not great with helping me to recover. After an hour or so of battling the onset of swine flu fever, I gave up and took the trip.
The next morning, I did croak “Ammaaaaa…..” when I first saw her. I figured that I probably did have swine flu and it would be quite irresponsible of myself to pass on the burning torch that was swine fever. Let’s go to hospital.
As soon as I walked into hospital, I was escorted to a room and shut in. No questions asked. My mother was slightly annoyed by the lack of communication, but we realised that I could single-handedly take down half of Colombo with my nasal secretions alone. No wonder they shut me up.
After a gruelling ordeal of having a big plastic tube shoved down one nostril, then another smaller tube shoved down the other (the first time didn’t work, the big tube made me bleed) I lay down on the bed, waiting till evening for results.
Affirmative. “An 18-year-old Sri Lankan domicilied in London (incorrect) has been the newest case of swine flu.”
Accepting the fact that I would have to be shut up in a room for 5 days straight with no human contact save a nurse in nuclear-meltdown gear shoving a thermometer in my armpit wasn’t too hard for me. I could have much time for personal discovery, writing and reading new books. Hooray for solitude!
Day 3 - bored. Luckily, my caring family and friends send over a laptop, DVDs and, most importantly, Asterix books! SAVED!
Day 5 - I have read all the Asterix cartoons and watched all the DVDs and played Age of Empires II so much that I have ruined my favourite childhood game. I now sit in the chair, waiting for the doctor to come. Forms to fill, things to do, clothes to pack/ incinerate and then I shall be gone. All in all, these 5 days have been quite good, really - I have had good Sri Lankan cooking again after so long, I saw my mother everyday for the brief few seconds of meeting across two windows and I have been cared for very well by all the staff here - I must say, I enjoyed my time here. In a weird (some may call it sick), sense, this has felt like a kind of zoo. I laze around all day and people bring me medicine and food at periodic intervals. It feels quite cool, although I’m not sure how I’m going to survive in the wild again.
So finally, looking back at everything, I would like to impart some advice to all of you avidly reading this.
- I recommend swine flu for anyone who needs time off for themselves. Give me a call if you need it, I’m sure I can find some tissues somewhere.
- Do not cough in your brother’s face to prove to him that you don’t have it, since that is NOT proof.
- Sympathy is awesome.
- Do not hate the people who have brought damnation and pestilence to your country - I am sure that they did so unwittingly
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