Thaaththa,” Bindu Udagedera asked, “are we among the happiest people in the world?”
“Why do you say that, Bindu?” Bindu’s father Percy wanted to know.
“”Why, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “they say we are the happiest people in Asia and among the happiest people in the world...”
“I suppose one could say that...” Percy said.
“Why is that, thaaththa?” Bindu wanted to know, “is it because the war is over now?”
“That could be a reason why we are so happy now,” Percy agreed, “but I suspect there are many other reasons as well...”
“What are those reasons, thaaththa?” Bindu asked.
“Why, Bindu,” Percy pointed out, “surely we must be having the happiest Police in the world...”
“Why is that, thaaththa?” Bindu was puzzled.
“Why, our Police can do what they want, when they want and then get away with it, be it beating up students or killing young men for trivial reasons,” Percy observed, “and sometimes even the wives and children of policemen are supposed to join in the fun, so they must be a pretty happy lot...” “Who else is happy in this country, thaaththa?” Bindu wondered.
“Why, Bindu,” Percy recalled, “even underworld leaders and drug dealers in our country are a happy and contented lot these days...”
“How can that be, thaaththa?” Bindu retorted, “I thought they are being hunted down by unknown people...”
“Ah, so they say,” Percy said, “but if you are an underworld leader with the right connections, you could be escorted right up to the aircraft by government ministers and the British government will even readily grant you a visa to visit their country, so why shouldn’t they be happy?”
“If underworld leaders in our country are so happy, thaaththa,” Bindu asked, “there must be others who are happy as well...”
“Why, Bindu,” Percy said, “our Minister of Education also must be a very happy man...”
“Why is that, thaaththa?” Bindu queried.
“Why, Bindu,” Percy declared, “when school term test papers are messed up, he says it is not his responsibility because they are handled by the provinces; when the Advanced Level paper is leaked, he says that too is not his responsibility. So, being a minister without any sense of responsibility, he must be a very happy man...”
“Who else is happy in our country, thaaththa?” Bindu wondered.
“Why, our Minister of Trade must also be a very happy man...” Percy suggested.
“Why is that, thaaththa?” Bindu asked.
“Why, whenever there is a reduction of prices he says it is because of what he has done, but whenever there is a price hike, he says it is because of fluctuating prices in the world market, so he too must be a pretty happy man...” Percy said.
“Doesn’t our Minister of Health also say something similar?” Bindu inquired.
“Yes,” Percy said, “he must also be a very happy man because he says he is not at all responsible for all the dengue and swine flu epidemics that affected our country recently...”
“What about all the other politicians, thaaththa? Are they also very happy?” Bindu wanted to know.
“I suppose all the politicians on the Blue side must be pretty happy because they seem to be winning election after election despite all the problems in the country...” Percy declared.
“But, what about those on the Green side, thaaththa?” Bindu wondered, “Surely, they must be an unhappy lot, after losing all the elections that have been held recently...”
“That is how it should be,” Percy conceded, “but judging by how the greens seem to be enjoying losing election after election, I think they are quite happy with the prospect of being in the opposition for the next several years, because they don’t seem to be doing anything about it...”
“What about the Reds, thaaththa?” Bindu argued, “surely, they should be unhappy because they are getting only a handful of votes now...”
“I am not so sure about the Reds, Bindu,” Percy said, “but Wimal sahodaraya and his lot must be the happiest amongst us all...”
“Why do you say that, thaaththa?” Bindu was curious.
“Why, Bindu, they ran away from the Reds and joined Mahinda maama and the Blues in the nick of time and now they are having the time of their lives, enjoying ministerial portfolios, vehicles and foreign trips,” Percy said, “they must be the happiest socialists on earth...”
Bindu knew he couldn’t disagree with that.