My Dear Nimal,

I thought I must write to you again, because you seem to be in the news once more-no, not for leading the campaign at Uva where you helped the Blues to get over seventy per cent of the vote- but for being in charge of a Ministry whose immunization programme led to the death of yet another child.

It was so reassuring Nimal, to see you on television after that incident because as you so patiently explained, ‘only’ two children have died so far and that, going by what you said, indicates that you have done a pretty decent job!

You did say that in these programmes about one in a million deaths occur. So, in a country such as ours with twenty million people, even if twenty drop dead after immunization, there is no cause for alarm! So, we should be complaining only after that, shouldn’t we?

Of course, some are a little puzzled because when the first death occurred some months ago, you promised us an impartial inquiry and at the end of it you gave us the all clear. Why someone should die again is, as you say, a matter for the experts but we in the mean time have to believe you, don’t we?
After all, I cannot understand why there is such a hue and cry about all this when over two hundred and fifty died due to dengue and you were saying that mosquitoes were attracted only because of scantily clad girls!

And then, there was the time when you proudly boasted that because of your timely action, there was no Swine Flu in the country. Now, we do have Swine Flu but what I cannot understand is why everyone blames you for that, especially when there are plenty of swine around anyway...

And who are we, just average citizens, to doubt your wit and wisdom when you are not only our dear Minister of Healthcare and Nutrition but head of the World Health Organization as well? Take no notice of your critics, Nimal, they are complaining only because they are jealous of your success...

In fact, you being the smart man that you are, I have a feeling that you are doing all this on purpose, Nimal. Why, whenever there is a crisis-dengue, rat fever, bird flu, swine flu, immunization deaths-you get a chance to come before the public and show your chubby face on television and deliver your pearls of wisdom!

Now, either you must be a very stupid man -or those working under you must be very, very inefficient-to let crisis after crisis to emerge in the health sector, or else you must be deliberately letting all these little incidents happen so you could hog the limelight in the media in the same manner that Bandula appears every now and then on television to advise us as to why prices can only go up and never come down...
Personally, I think it is the latter and I am almost certain you subscribe to the theory that any publicity is good publicity because it reminds us every now and then that a man called Nimal is the man in charge of Health and Nutrition.

And I do know, regardless of whatever that happens in the Health sector, Mahinda maama is mightily pleased with you because you helped him to get a record percentage of votes in Uva in the recent elections.

So, Nimal, you can rest easy because even though some may call for your resignation whenever there is yet another scandal in the Health sector, you won’t be asked to quit your job!

Why, Nimal, there is even some speculation that you are fit to be the next PM. I am sure Uncle Ratnasiri will be quite annoyed at the suggestion and Dee Moo might be in shock at the possibility, but think about it, will you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-If you really want to end this controversy about vaccination, Nimal, I think the best way to do it once and for all is for you to get the vaccine as well. It may seem like an unreasonable request, but then there is always a one in a million chance and don’t they say that hope springs eternal..?