My Dear Velu,

I thought I must write to you even though you have been dispatched to the Land of No Return because this is the time you usually deliver your ‘Heroes’ Day’ address to us. And would you believe it, the day has come and gone and hardly anyone has noticed it!

Of course, if anyone needed proof that you are in fact no longer with us instead of hiding in a bunker somewhere, now we have it because you didn’t deliver your ‘Heroes’ Day’ address -- but hardly a year ago, very few thought that this would be your fate...

I suppose, Velu, you are partly to blame too. You cannot say that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time – Nanthikadaal in May this year to be precise -- because there were others who were with you who were smart enough to make a move. And look where they are now!

Take that chap Karuna, for instance. It is true that the fellow had to spend some time in prison but that was in Britain, anyway. Why, he even said that someone’s brother gave him a forged passport to travel but still he managed to survive and he is envied by everyone today.

And, why not? The military men who you wanted to kill are guarding and saluting him and he is now a Minister, not to mention being a Vice-President of the Blue party. And he probably gets more security than the Generals who outsmarted you. Now, if that won’t make you jealous, Velu, what will?

Of course, some were not so lucky though. Your good friend KP was caught -- and they are still not telling us whether it was in Malaysia or Thailand -- and is now spilling the beans. I know you will be disappointed with that, but you didn’t give him a cyanide capsule to bite, did you?

Velu, you might be wondering what has changed in the six months since you left us. I suppose the biggest change is that peace has indeed dawned and we are able to go about our daily work without wondering when the next bomb explosion -- or air strike -- will hit us.

It is indeed a major change and for which we are grateful to all those who made it possible. The sad part of the story is that, in true Sri Lankan style, we are now fighting amongst ourselves trying to figure out who exactly was responsible for that near-impossible victory over you and your men.

On the one hand, we have Mahinda maama, his band of brothers and his political ‘yes men’, all hailing him as king. On the other, we have the General who led the military victory, complaining that he was given the ‘Karapincha’ treatment and discarded like a leper after he masterminded the military victory.

Other than that, Velu, little has changed. We still have the occasional strike that cripples everyday life, Uncle Bandula is still promising us goods at cheaper prices but it is very difficult to find them and yes, Mervyn is still running around threatening anyone who blocks his path.

Of course, Velu, Uncle Ranil is still in the opposition, having lost a few more elections since you departed and comrades Somawansa and Weerawansa still hate each other -- although even Weerawansa’s little three-wheeler party has had one of its wheels deflated, because Nandana has run away to join the Blue brigade.

In the North and East too, little has changed, Velu. The TNA chaps are still not on good terms with Anandasangaree and Douglas is minding his own business while no one is sure whether Pillayan is on talking terms with Karuna anymore!

Velu, it might interest you to know that in the midst of all this we now have an election and this is where matters get ‘curiouser and curiouser’. That is because the ‘patriots’ in uniform who fought against you have suddenly become ‘traitors’ because they have decided to contest the powers that be.

To make matters more hilarious, those ‘traitors’ who taunted the military men saying they were not good enough even for a Salvation Army have now embraced them and become ‘patriots’ overnight. This being Sri Lanka-and not the Eelam that you dreamt of-what more can you expect, Velu?

I am sure, Velu, you will be observing what happens next from wherever you are. But don’t count on any statues being erected in your honour because the truth is that you wouldn’t be missed much here.

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS: If it is of any consolation, your dream of dividing the country seems to have come true to some extent. Soon, the entire country will be divided on the issue of who really fought the war and who should get credit for it. And at first glance, this battle looks to be getting as intense as the one that led to your defeat!