My Dear Manmohan,
I thought I must write to you because Mahinda maama also dropped in to see you this week-and also because the hot topic of discussion in our country these days is nothing but India.
Last week of course, it was all about India because your country’s film awards were held here-and I daresay it was a damp squib. That was because most of your top artistes kept away saying that some people in Tamil Nadu had threatened them.
Needless to say, thousands of locals-who are raised on a daily diet of Hindi movies and Indian teledramas-were disappointed. The Bachchans and the Shah Rukh Khans maybe on the screen are heroes and macho men, but in real life they are wimps aren’t they, Manmohan? So, whatever respect our people had for them has disappeared after their absence last week!
Well, quite apart from the fact that local fans didn’t get to see their ‘heroes’, it appears as if Mahinda maama’s government spent about 450 million rupees for the event and that means each and every Sri Lankan man, woman and child has spent a little over twenty rupees. Now, that is saying something, isn’t it, especially at a time when Mahinda maama has to raise the price of bread and gas to make ends meet?
And when even those ‘stars’ who came to Colombo for the event chose not to attend Mahinda maama’s reception for them, that was quite insulting especially when young Namal was even playing cricket with them, although being dismissed rather early, quite like Sanath Jayasuriya!
That is probably why Mahinda maama too kept away from the award ceremony-although some people tried to put a spin on it and said he wouldn’t have attended anyway which is unusual for someone who even attends the opening of flyovers!
Of course, despite all this you could look back and say that we have come a long way since the days when the ‘rathu sahodarayas’ here wanted us not to eat Bombay onions and Mysore dhal and some of our Tiger cadres went about assassinating your Prime Minister!
Anyway, Manmohan, that film festival apart, we would all like to know what you and Mahinda maama discussed when he visited you. That is because there are many stories that you and your countrymen are making unreasonable demands from him.
Now, we are grateful that you turned a blind eye to the plight of the Tigers during the final stages of the war last year. We are also thankful that you helped us to ensure that the Tigers didn’t escape to Tamil Nadu when it became clear they would be trapped and destroyed. Even then, Manmohan, I do not think you should be telling us now what we should do with our own problems.
Remember Manmohan, your country did it once, over twenty years ago with the Indo-Lanka Accord and we are still trying to get rid of the provincial councils that your country helped to create rather arbitrarily. We certainly don’t want a repeat of that!
Then, Manmohan, we also hear that you are trying to twist Mahinda maama’s arm, asking for some ‘CEPA’ trade agreement which would open the floodgates for Indian products and services to enter the Sri Lankan market.
Naturally, there is a lot of anxiety about this and one man who is raising his voice against this is a Comrade named Wimal. Now, I don’t generally agree with what he says-or even the way he says it-but this time around, he does seem to have a point. And what is even more interesting is that what Wimal says is usually a reflection of His Master’s Voice. Think about it, Manmohan when you are deciding about CEPA.
Then, we heard that you want to open a consulate in Hambantota. Now, Manmohan, I can understand people in Jaffna frequently wanting to visit South India but why would you want to open a consulate in Hambantota? If it is Mahinda maama and his clan you are worried about, I am sure he can get his travel arrangements sorted out in Colombo! And, what would you say if we wanted to open a consulate in Bihar, for instance?
Many people say that you are keen to neutralise the Chinese presence in Hambantota-and I must say Mahinda maama has been rather clever with that. But don’t try to push him-he might even invite Iran or Libya to build a port in Jaffna next!
So, Manmohan, even though everyone is smiling for the cameras and hugging each other, we do understand that there are many concerns on both sides of the Palk Straits. Well, whatever you do, I have one piece of advice for you: despite all what you have seen and heard of him, Mahinda maama is a great actor too!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-The latest we hear is that some of your Police chaps are trying to arrest Douglas for an ‘offence’ he is alleged to have committed twenty six years ago. Tell them not to waste their time Manmohan because Douglas escaped death nearly a dozen times, despite Velu’s best efforts, so your Police won’t stand a chance against him. And if you want to arrest one of our legislators, there are quite a few names I can suggest-and they really deserve to be behind bars! |
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