My dear Mahinda maama,
I thought I must write to you because we as a country seem to be in the international limelight once again, even if it is more than a year since we won that famous battle against terrorism, defeating Velu and his deadly Tiger outfit.
For instance, just this week, first there was GLP losing the GSP. Well, you can hardly understand what he says at the best of times, but first he tells us that we don’t need the GSP and that we can survive without it. Then he visits the European Union, pleading for it. Then, when he loses it, he says, it doesn’t matter. That’s a bit confusing, isn’t it, Mahinda maama, even for an absent minded professor?
Then, off you go to the Maldives where there is a dispute between the President and the Parliament and you are able to settle it before one could say ‘Gayoom’! Ah, if only our own chaps were as obedient as they were!
After all that Mahinda maama, we have this spectacle at the UN office in Colombo where the screenplay, direction and main role is all by Wimal sahodaraya. The way the story is being enacted right now, we might see Wimal sahodaraya being proclaimed as the Mahathma Gandhi of the twenty first century!
Of course, we are all for Gandhian principles and non-violent protests and we do also think Ban Ki moon has no business to go about appointing ‘advisory panels’ just so he could increase his chances of getting elected for a second term of office. But, we still think that Wimal sahodaraya is doing more harm than good-and I’m not talking about the alleged damage to his kidneys either!
True, it is a good drama providing a lot of entertainment but I think Wimal sahodaraya spoilt the opening episode by calling for staff to be taken hostage and then actually surrounding the UN office with his colleagues behaving like a Sinhala mob of 1983! That betrayed his intentions of getting some mileage out of the entire story, I thought.
But what I wanted to write to you about, Mahinda maama, was about the efficiency of our Police force. Why, when ten university students gather for a protest or when residents whose houses are being demolished raise their voices, those chaps are at the ready with tear gas canisters and water cannons but when Wimal sahodaraya marches to the UN office, they didn’t have even a baton polla in their hands!
And then, just when the Police who were there were about to take the law into their own hands as they usually do, somebody gave them orders to withdraw and let Wimal sahodaraya carry on with his ‘protest’!
Now, you might call all this co-incidence but most people think it was more design than accident. And, when that happens, because Wimal sahodaraya is a valued member of your Cabinet, most people also think that all this is happening with your approval, no less, and I don’t think that is particularly healthy, Mahinda maama...
Of course, Wimal sahodaraya being Wimal sahodaraya he wants to add another twist to the story. So we have the episode No. 2: he begins a fast unto death. You know, Mahinda maama, I used to always think of Wimal sahodaraya as an able bodied young man with a lot of vim and vigour. But what do I see after one day of fasting-a rather frail Wimal sahodaraya who is hardly able to speak! Now, that is not quite right, is it? Or is it that this too is a brilliant piece of acting, Mahinda maama?
Then we have episode No.3: the resignation. I think you missed a trick there, Mahinda maama. emember how the fellow was unhappy with the ministry given to him and the number of ministries given to his party? So, when he sent in his resignation, you should have accepted it then and there. That way, you could have said, all this is totally beyond your control-and clipped his wings at the same time. And there is always room to re-appoint him later, if you need to!
Now just as we were wondering what next, for episode No. 4, I suppose you thought that you must put an end to this nonsense, so you visit Wimal sahodaraya and offer him some water and the man who said that he will fast unto death meekly accepts it! Then he is whisked off for emergency treatment and they will say that they saved his life in the nick of time! That is a rather fitting ending for our cardboard hero, don’t you think, Mahinda maama?
Why, Wimal sahodaraya would have had his fifteen minutes of fame, become a star and still have his life intact, the whole country will have its share of entertainment and we can forget about the rising cost of living for a while and of course, it will be business as usual for Ban Ki Moon who will go ahead with his ‘advisory panel’ as if nothing happened. The only loser will be Sri Lanka because its reputation will be in tatters, all because of one young man in an indecent political hurry-but then, we can live with that, can’t we?
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS- Now, Mahinda maama, I’m sure Wimal sahodaraya will tell us that this is not what he has in mind and that the planned ending in episode No. 5 is for him to fast unto death if Ban Ki moon didn’t give in. If I were you, knowing Wimal sahodaraya I wouldn’t have prepared his funeral oration in a hurry but I know quite a few people who wanted Ban Ki moon to go ahead with his panel, no matter what, for precisely that reason, hoping against hope that for once, Wimal sahodaraya would keep his word! |
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