My dear Mahinda Maama,
I thought I must write to you even though you are in New York because I am a bit puzzled by what you have been doing in the recent days although I must admit that I have been quite surprised by your cleverness in manipulating matters to your advantage, especially regarding the eighteenth amendment.
Firstly Mahinda maama, it does baffle me as to why you needed over a hundred people to accompany you just to see and hear you speak for a few dozen minutes. We did that just as well from the comfort of our living rooms-and it cost us only a few cents worth of electricity! But then, what does it matter to a rich country such as ours to indulge our politicians once every year or so?
Of course, seeing some pictures of those who accompanied you, it does look like you wanted to reward some of those who recently crossed over from the Green side-even if Long John didn’t quite make it despite the various carrots dangled before him.
But Mahinda maama, the problem is, by doing that you might be making some of your own men and women go green with envy! And by the way, who is that handsome young chap who is always in the pictures looking quite like you and wearing a dress similar to yours?
Now, even if you were taking those who crossed over from the Greens with you, I think you should have taken that ‘Paba’ girl in your entourage, so the world at large would have noticed what acting talents we have got-and she could have gone sightseeing in New York as well. After all, forget Malani Fonseka, Paba’s was the greatest performance in recent times which had the voters of Gampaha and all the Green leaders fooled for several months until she decided to cross over!
Of course, the big disappointment to us was that you didn’t take Wimal sahodaraya along. Just imagine what it would have been like to have him by your side, sticking his tongue out and making faces at Ban ki Moon while you made your speech. Why, he could have even greeted Moon with the traditional Sri Lankan hoot and he would have got more publicity with much less effort than having to do his so-called ‘fast unto death’ for three days…
Another disappointment Mahinda maama, was that there appeared to be no bigwigs wanting to meet you, apart from the Chancellor of Germany. We were told that the leaders of Turkey, Jamaica, Qatar, Thailand and Iran wanted to say hello to you, but then that is hardly as exciting as meeting Obama for instance, is it?
I was also surprised to see you smiling for the cameras with that Solheim chap and his Prime Minister and saying let bygones be bygones. Didn’t you once accuse them of being traitors and working hand in glove with the terrorists, Mahinda maama? What would all those ‘deshapremi’ people back home say? Wouldn’t they think that their Great Leader has betrayed them?
Or, is it that you were merely thanking Solheim for helping you to win the 2005 election, because if not for his ceasefire agreement, you couldn’t have labelled Uncle Ranil a traitor and he could have even won that election…
But the greatest surprise to me Mahinda maama, was seeing you smile from ear to ear and greet Ban ki Moon himself. Here was a man who we all agreed went beyond his limits in trying to harass our country, so why you have to keep up appearances with him is beyond me.
And to be honest Mahinda maama, your speech to the UN also disappointed me. We all thought you would have taken this opportunity on the world stage-after all, where else do you get that kind of chance to give a piece of your mind to Ban ki Moon and tell other countries how unfairly we were treated by the UN? But you did nothing of the sort. You know, you should get some tuition from your good friend, that Ahmadinejad chap from Iran…
Of course Mahinda maama, while I am writing to you I might as well tell you that nothing much has changed back home. The Greens are still at each other’s throats and the General is still in jail, so there is nothing to worry about and you can enjoy the sights and sounds of New York instead of rushing home because you are worried about what blunder Di Moo might commit in your absence.
And one of the first tasks awaiting you on your return is to sign and confirm the court martial ruling that will send the General to jail. I am almost sure you have made up your mind about it Mahinda maama, but remember even JR didn’t send Methini to jail; he only had her civic rights taken away.
So, everything seems very promising Mahinda maama, but let me tell you although your predecessors JR, Preme and Satellite also had grandiose plans for themselves, none of them were liked very much when they departed. Just think about it, while you have all this absolute power at your command-it will surely be a sobering thought!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-By the way Mahinda maama, by the time you return we would be commemorating the fifty-first death anniversary of SWRD. I thought I should also remind you about that because everyone seems to have forgotten the man these days, even though he was the founder of your party. It is not the ‘B’ era anymore, is it? |
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