My dear Seeni Bola,
I thought I must write to you because the universities and their students which you are supposed to supervise are very much in the news these days, although for all the wrong reasons, what with vice-chancellors being assaulted and student leaders being arested in broad daylight.
In response to all this Seeni Bola, we hear you declaring defiantly that you will clean up the campuses, no matter what it takes. Why, the other day you even said that you are ready to put a few hundred undergrads in jail for this purpose. Of course, jail is something you know quite a bit about, so we have to respect your superior knowledge about that!
Even then Seeni Bola, it is slightly amazing to find that students can be jailed for hooting at you. So, you are now a much more important person than you were when you were Minister of Sports under Satellite-and no one can really say that they don’t care two hoots about you!
However, we do agree with you that campuses should not be run by students. But I must warn you Seeni Bola, getting rid of all those student leaders who make life miserable for their colleagues is no easy task. In fact, it might be even more difficult than getting rid of Velu and his Tiger cubs in Nanthikadal.
Now, that is because you can’t herd university students into a group like isolating civilians. Nor will you find university students carrying white flags and coming to you to surrender. Of course, if you care to look on the bright side, you won’t find Ban ki- Moon pleading for their release either!
Seeni Bola, we know that you always accuse the rathu sahodarayas of spreading student unrest and using it to their own advantage. I think there are quite a few who share this view and if it is indeed so, you have every right to crack the whip on them.
Of course the rathu sahodarayas in turn argue that you are trying your best to privatize our university system and thereby ruin free education. There can be some discussion on that, but I hope that even if universities are privatized, you will take steps to maintain standards.
Why, we don’t want private universities mushrooming at every handiya, just like international schools do now, do we? Or else, if you are not careful someone will sell the licence to set up private universities like they have sold the licences for FM channels-and very soon, before you could say ‘you gee see’, there will be more universities than cabinet ministers!
But while you deal with all this, Seeni Bola, we were disturbed to hear of a particular incident this week. That was when a university student was set upon by a mob of people at Kelaniya claiming to be ‘parents’ of undergraduates, although some of them didn’t look old enough to be parents, let alone being parents of undergraduates!
Why, policemen just stood there watching and the cameras from the various television stations rolled while this chap was set upon by this so called ‘parents’ and in the end we all saw footage of the fellow running for dear life—if someone had timed that, he could have given Susanthika a good fight for her silver medal!
We all know why this type of incident happens only at Kelaniya and I really don’t know whether it is within your powers to prevent it because this curse of Kelaniya appears to be so omni-potent and now it is spreading into universities as well.
Now, Seeni Bola, we have absolutely no problem if you deal with students using the long arm of the law. But surely, you cannot allow someone who hasn’t stepped into a campus even to escape from the rain, to dictate terms can you, even though he may claim to have a doctorate?
Seeni Bola, the problem with this type of incident is, all these stunt men will stage their little acts but in the final reckoning, as the minister in charge, you are the person who will be held responsible. Now you wouldn’t want to pay for someone else’s sins, would you especially when that someone is you-know-who from Kelaniya?
Thinking of all these problems Seeni Bola, don’t you sometimes feel that it would have been better if you had stayed out with the Greens? After all, they are desperately looking for an alternative for the leader-or at least a suitable deputy for him and all they can come up with at the moment is someone who is shouting himself hoarse from a rooftop in Hambantota. Had you still been there, I’m sure you would have become at least the vice-captain, if not the captain, by now...
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-Now, some say that you shouldn’t flex your muscles too much over these campus issues because there is a Cabinet reshuffle around the corner. Don’t worry about it Seeni Bola, because we all know you will get your job back. And, make no mistake, that is only because Mahinda maama wants you to finish this campus mess-and in the process, finish you too! |
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