It was quite by chance that Mrs Anumaana came across Muammar Gaddafi’s ‘Green Book,’ which could be roughly described as the ‘Gaddafi Chinthanaya.’ Going by the title at first she thought it must be Ranil’s manifesto, and that by reading it she might finally discover his political philosophy. Or lack of it - making it a rare example of a treatise on ‘How to be a Spectacular Political Failure’.
But she soon noticed a startling correlation between the contents of the book and contemporary life and times in Sri Lanka. In fact she was convinced she had discovered the secret source of inspiration behind much that was happening in this corner of the world.
The main example she cites in this regard is the entry on ‘The Press and freedom of expression’. She points to the manner in which the word ‘insanity’ keeps popping up in this chapter. Here’s a sample of quotes.
The Press:
“An individual has the right to express himself or herself even if he or she behaves irrationally to demonstrate his or her insanity …”
“Democratically, private individuals should not be permitted to own any public means of publication or information.”
Perhaps that’s what inspires the burning and ransacking of media institutions around here, thought Mrs Anumaana. Not to mention the hurling of rocks and storming of offices of TV stations. “However, they have the right to express themselves by any means, even irrationally, to prove their insanity.”
That part must have inspired some of the rants that have come from political platforms lately thought Mrs Anumaana, recalling that the LG elections were around the corner.
Woman:
“Women are females and men are males. According to gynaecologists, women menstruate every month or so, while men, being male, do not menstruate or suffer during the monthly period.”
“Motherhood is the female's function, not the male's. … A woman's anatomy is different from that of a man's just as the female differs in plants and animals. This is a natural and incontrovertible fact.”
Mrs Anumaana was so astounded by these revelations that she put the book aside and immediately made an appointment with her gynaecologist to check if these statements were true.
Culture:
“If one group of people wears white clothes in mourning and another group puts on black, the sentiment of each group will be adjusted according to these two colours, i.e., one group rejects the black colour on such an occasion while the other one prefers it, and vice versa. Such a sentiment leaves its physical effect on the cells as well as on the genes in the body.”
Finally Mrs Anumaana understood why so many politicians attired in spotless white turned out to be pathological liars. Who would have thought it was their dress code that was to blame?
Parliament:
“A parliament is originally founded to represent the people, but this in itself is undemocratic as democracy means the authority of the people and not an authority acting on their behalf. The mere existence of a parliament means the absence of the people.”
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| File photo: Police inspect the recent attack on the E news channel in Malabe |
Did that explain why there was such poor attendance in parliament? Or such poor representatives in government? Or so little participation in democracy? Or so little democracy one way or another? Mrs Anumaana was a little confused.
Transport:
“In a socialist society, no person or authority has the right to own a means of transportation for the purpose of renting it, for this also means controlling the needs of others.”
So THAT’s why the Minister of Transport was always at loggerheads with those private bus owners, Mrs Anumaana reflected.
And no wonder SB was having such a hard time with the undergraduates. On Education, it said:
“State-controlled education, which governments boast of whenever they are able to force it on their youths, is a method of suppressing freedom.”
Mrs Anumaana thought Sunil might be interested in the section on Sport. He had been complaining bitterly about the showdown outside Sri Lanka Cricket a few days ago where he says, he and hordes of others who had come to buy tickets for the World Cup had been turned away.
“Originally, the public grandstands were designed to demarcate the masses from the playing fields and grounds; to prevent the masses from having access to the playing fields.”
Sunil is not impressed with any of the gems of wisdom in the Green Book. He says he has evidence to prove the whole thing was actually ghost-written by a Sri Lankan cabinet minister who holds a doctorate in Media and Public Relations.
The writer is a senior freelance journalist
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