Known to all as Dimples, my maternal grandmother was a woman of unparalleled grace. I grew up some 9,000 miles away from her, in New York. Yet, her house in Mount Lavinia -- with its red floors that left your bare feet stained, its open windows with lace curtains bringing in the smell of the ocean down De Saram Road, its many armoires brimming with rosaries and antique trinkets from generations past -- always felt like home to me.
As the only granddaughter in a clan of seven grandsons, I feel like I was in a unique position to observe my grandmother, not just as matriarch of our family but as a woman of her own. What I saw over the past 22 years has made me want to be an infinitely more loving and morally centred person. In short, I strive today to be a woman in her mould.
During the summers, when my family travelled from the U.S. to Sri Lanka, my grandmother’s only requests were that we buy and bring her a biography or two of the Pope. I have distinct memories of those days, driving with my mother to the local bookstore and bee-lining to the religion section to find a book that tackled not the politics or scandals of the Catholic Church but the unadulterated faith found within. Those titles, clearly, were hard to come by. But, summer after summer, my grandmother’s perpetual gratitude for the books made this task deeply meaningful. To her dying day, Dimples -- a former student of St. Bridget’s Convent -- was a woman of undeniable faith.
My grandfather, Eddie Goonewardene, passed away in 1995. I know him only through faded photographs and a few, clouded memories. Today, I’m in awe that my grandmother carried on the calm, family-centred lifestyle that she and my grandfather forged together for a full 16 years after his death. Even through sickness, she preferred to stay on in their house. Though her conviction to live independently was challenging to the family at times, we see now that it was an act of love and agency. My grandmother wanted to live out the last stage of her life in her own space, on her own terms, while the modern world evolved outside at a dizzying pace.
Though I cannot speak to what Dimples was like as a wife, sister, or mother, I know exactly what kind of grandmother she was. Going to her house was a pleasure for all the grandchildren, as she kept us satisfied with enough soft drinks and patties (the tastiest in the area, some say) to feed an army of men.
When my brother and I were kids, she made a habit of tearing prayers from her religious books to mail to us so that we could ask God for blessings before our school exams. She never threw out a single piece of artwork made for her by her grandkids, no matter how silly our school-age attempts at artistry must have been. In fact, her bedroom was more like a children’s art gallery, with nearly one hundred of these pages tacked to the walls. For as long as she was physically able, she went to church and asked dutifully for blessings for every human being in the world. Throughout her life -- even as old age brought her pain and took away the comforts of memory -- Dimples desired nothing but the love and proximity of family.
Not many have the fortune of living one decade short of a century and getting to see not one, but two, great-grandchildren enter the world. My grandmother was this fortunate. Today, as I mourn her passing from across the globe, I am thankful to the devoted family members in Sri Lanka who cared for her during her final years on earth. Our deepest gratitude goes also to the extended family, friends, attendants and neighbours who made the last stage of her life as serene as could be, particularly her best friend Manon Muthukumaru and the staff of Durdans Hospital.
May Dimples, deeply loved and missed by all, rest in peace.
Shanika Gunaratna, (daughter of Mithila and Shiranee Gunaratna and sister of Mahen Gunaratna)
The woman behind MDH’s successful
political career
Mary Jayawardena
Mary Jayawardena from Padukka died a few years ago at the age of 85 after a brief illness. She was from a respectable family in Bentota and lived in her ancestral home “the Walauwa” before marriage.
After marrying M.D.H. Jayawardena who was a barrister at that time, she moved to Padukka. She had one son Kalika, who was a Trinitian and two daughters who attended Ladies’ College.
My grandmother was instrumental in my grandfather’s entry into politics. Without doubt she was the force behind my grandfather’s successful political career. Even the late President Ranasinghe Premadasa remarked in Parliament that this charming and gentle lady was the main person behind MDH’s success, both in his personal and political life. MDH gave up his legal career to enter politics in 1952. He held many portfolios such as Finance, Health, Housing, Scientific Affairs and Plantations during his political career.
My grandmother’s calm and gentle ways made many people seek her advice on various matters. Most of them were from Padukka and surrounding areas and some of them were even senior parliamentarians. She was always involved in matters connected to the temple in Padukka from her younger days. She was a devout Buddhist and spent from her own funds for the construction of the “Avasage” at the temple in Padukka. Each time I visited her, she never failed to inquire about my daughter. Though I was a Christian she always encouraged me to go to church even when I was in school.
It was indeed a privilege to have had this gentle and charming lady as my grandmother. Very rarely does one encounter a remarkable person like her. I hope the wonderful memories that my grandmother left behind will help me in this journey through life. Aachchi, you deserve nothing but the best. Hoping I would get a chance to meet you one more time in a better place.
Y. Nalin de Silva
Remembering a great father
Tissa DIas
It is now five years since you left us. The memories we shared are the greatest memories and best moments I ever had.
We had a close bond, far beyond that of the usual father-son bond. We would talk about everything that mattered, life and work. You wanted me to know everything that would help me stand on my own feet and succeed in life.
You told me to do whatever I thought was best for me, and you never forced us to get into any profession. It was a great feeling to know what a good person you were, and how you helped everyone around you.
You sacrificed your time for the well-being of “Malli” and me. You gave us everything we needed. Your teaching and advice has helped me go out and face life alone without you. I know that you are watching over me.
I know you will be the happiest person in the world to see me where I am now. I have learned what life is all about, and why we must respect others and their feelings. Life is a tough journey. I often think how much easier it would be to face life’s challenges if you were here. I never thought you would leave us all so soon.
You wanted us to climb to the top in the fields we chose.
I promise you that I will look after Mother and Brother, the way you looked after them, and I will keep them happy as ever.
All that I am, I owe to you. I miss you a lot, but I love you more than anyone. You are the best father in the world. May you attain the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana.
Supun Hasantha Dias
Entrepreneur and philanthropist who gave generously to the poor
M. E. Joseph Michael De Livera
I thought of penning a few words of appreciation of our late Uncle Michael, a distinguished personality of yesteryear. He hailed from Negombo and was the son of Mr. and Mrs. Philip de Livera.
There were three brothers – Michael; my husband’s father Gladstone, who was attached to the Survey Department, and Richard, a lawyer and batchmate of the late President J. R. Jayewardene. All three had their early education at Maris Stella College, Negombo. He was also a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE).
Uncle Michael was an entrepreneur, and the pioneer of Titus Stores, Maradana, now a group of companies. He also owned several coconut estates.
In fact, what prompted me to write about him was his immense generosity. He made a gift of his ancestral residence, with more than five acres of land, in the heart of Negombo, to the late Cardinal Thomas Cooray, in order to give a home to the poor and homeless. This is how the St. Joseph’s Home for the Aged began. It was perhaps one of the first of its kind at the time.
The Rev. Sisters and their helpers look after more than 200 inmates at the home. They feed and clothe them, and tend to them when they are sick.
Uncle Michael also helped many churches. My husband recollects how generous he was, and how he gave him and his five brothers expensive presents at Christmas. He was a born giver.
The Home for the Aged is beautifully kept and lovingly maintained. Whenever we visit, we take great pride in the fact that it was my husband’s “Mahappa” who gifted this serene place. “May the Lord look after him. Let perpetual light shine upon him.”
Nalini de Livera
Versatile, much-decorated soldier will live on in his deeply sympathetic poetry and verse
Major Kamal Sri Manatunga
November 12 marked three months since the untimely death of Major Kamal Sri Manatunga.
Born to Akmon Manatunga and Nanda, Kamal had his early education at St. John’s College, Nugegoda and afterwards at Nalanda College, Colombo, where he excelled in studies and extra-curricular activities. Later, he entered the University of Jayewardenepura and graduated as a Bachelor of Commerce.
He joined the Sri Lanka Army in January, 1991 as an Officer Cadet and was commissioned in the rank of Second Lieutenant of the 11th Battalion of the Sri Lanka National Guard. As a young officer, Kamal served in such different capacities as Senior Officer, Officer in Charge of Groups, Intelligence Officer, Adjutant and Officer Commanding, etc. He was assigned to operational duties at Gomarankadawala, Nilaveli, Muttur, Kumburupitiya, Thavulwewa and Pulmoddai in the Eastern Province.
Kamal was subsequently appointed the Publications Officer of the Regimental Headquarters of the Sri Lanka National Guard and edited its monthly publication, “Mura Sebala” (The Guard). His last appointment was as officer in charge of the Technical Camp Rehabilitation Centre at Nelukkulam, Vavuniya.
In recognition of Major Kamal Sri Manatunga’s loyalty, courage and long service, he was awarded the Poorna Bhoomi Padakkama, Riviresa Operation Medal, 50th Independence Anniversary Medal, 50th Army Anniversary Medal, North-East Medal, Northern Humanitarian Operation Medal and the Eastern Humanitarian Medal.
A robust Army officer, Kamal was also a thorough gentleman with a heart full of compassion and understanding. His endearing qualities were reflected in his ever-cheery smile. He would go out of his way to help others and he was a popular figure among superiors and subordinates alike.
Kamal was a good writer. He published three books: “Yudabime Sita Liyu Kavi” (Poems from the Battlefront) and “Bunker Kurutu Gee” (Bunker Graffiti) are poetry collections embodying the agony and yearnings of young soldiers at the battlefront or manning bunkers, while “Dolos Paye Sonduru Meheyuma” (The Pleasant Operation of 12 hours) is a collection of short stories. His prose and verse conveyed his sympathetic and deep understanding of human feeling and behaviour.
When he fell ill, he was transferred to the Army Hospital, where he endured the agony of his illness. He started compiling another collection of short stories for publication. He sent the manuscript to me, seeking my comments, and later called to thank me for what I shared with him. That was in July. Death came a month later. He was just 46 years old.
Kamal was essentially a family man – a caring husband and a doting father. His wife, Sugandika, and two daughters, Thisuri and Sathini, must bear the shock of the untimely loss of their beloved, who showered them much affection, attention, care and love.
Kamal, may you achieve the Supreme Bliss of Nirvana.
Cha Munasinghe
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