My Dear Bandula,
I first thought I must write to you when I heard you say that a family of three can survive on Rs. 7,500 a month, these days. Now, after hearing you debate the issue on television I feel I really ought to discuss this with you, just to let you know what a great idea this is.
I heard you say, Bandula that this minor miracle is possible by living a frugal lifestyle and managing with what you have. To prove your point, you cleverly cited how you maintained students living in school hostels on Rs. 2,500 a month — and what a masterstroke that was.
Of course, Bandula, you must pardon our ignorance. We knew that you were a popular tuition master teaching economics to Advanced Level students before you took to politics, but never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that you were such a brilliant economist as well.
I feel obliged, Bandula, to remind you of some of the excellent strategies that you discussed the other day on television so that we could all manage on Rs. 2,500 a month. If we use those methods, I feel a whole new Sri Lanka will emerge as a very powerful nation on earth.
One of the cornerstones of your theory of living within a two thousand and five hundred rupee budget was that we had to forego ‘luxuries’. So, there would be no mobile phones — you were so particular about that — and no air conditioning. I suppose there would be no refrigerators either.
Now, wouldn’t that be bliss? No ringtones or text messages to worry about. Admittedly, it would be a bit hot without air-conditioning but I am sure a little perspiration will do us all some good and keep us healthy. And without refrigerators, we wouldn’t have to worry about polluting the environment, too.
Also ingenious was how you came to your conclusion — it was on the basis that Rs. 2,500 a month was sufficient to maintain an individual in a school hostel. Now, that would obviously mean that the rent, electricity and water bills will all be taken care of, wouldn’t it?
So, I suppose, Bandula, you plan to build very large hostels run by the government for all Sri Lankans. We will reside in them and the government would pay for our rent, electricity and water and provide us with subsidised meals so that everyone lives within Rs. 2,500.
Obviously you thought about the rising prices of petrol and that is also why you decided on this idea. There is no way we could pay for petrol with two thousand and five hundred rupees, but by housing all of us near where we work, we could all walk to work, just like the students in your hostels!
With one simple but exceptional idea, Bandula, you seem to have achieved the impossible. We wouldn’t have to worry about buying oil from Iran anymore and getting bullied by the United States in the process. And all this fuss about increases in taxes on imported vehicles will be a thing of the past!
Imagine the relief it would bring to all of us, just by easing the traffic congestion on our roads. We hear of a fatal accident every day and all those lives will be saved — because of you. And maybe we can even stop building all those expressways that are planned — and save a lot of money in commissions!
The only problem with that would be for politicians — not you of course, but the others — who insist on blaming everything on rising oil prices. They wouldn’t be able to do that and serves them right, too. But you need not worry, Bandula because when this is implemented, you will be very, very, popular!
My one concern with your plan, Bandula, was about clothing and how we could afford that on Rs. 2,500 a month but you are too much of a genius to forget that. Why, in the example you gave us — students in school hostels — they get free uniforms from the government!
So, I suppose your plan is to give all Sri Lankans free ‘uniforms’. With the kind of budget that you have in mind, I guess you can provide the gentlemen with ‘amudeys’ and the ladies with something a little more elaborate, but being the uninhibited nation that we are, I am sure we wouldn’t mind that.
I was just a bit worried about what you would do with your colleagues in Parliament. They would probably have to be housed next to the Diyawanna Oya and when they have to attend Parliament, they will just swim across the Oya in their ‘amudeys’. No escorts, no road closures. Ah, just brilliant!
I guess, Bandula, this plan can come only from a man of your level of intelligence. What else can we do, except to marvel at the fact that you stand out, even among politicians, as one who comes up with an idea that will make the rest of country sit up and take notice. Well, best of luck!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS: Someone tells me that they already have these places where the government houses you, feeds you, pays for your electricity and water bills and provides you with uniforms and you also walk to work. They say the largest of its kind is at Welikada. Ever you heard of that, Bandula?
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