My Dear Mahinda maama,
I thought I must write to you after reading all the headlines you made simply by visiting London to meet the Queen to wish her for her diamond jubilee. Congratulations, you almost got more publicity than the Queen herself!
I suppose there will always be those people who will tell you that any publicity is good publicity but this time around, I think you will agree that the publicity you got hardly did your reputation-or that of our country-any good.
Now, the people who organised these events could have been excused if they didn’t know what was in store. But they should have known, considering that you had to go through a similar embarrassment two years ago.
I am sure you will remember when you went to Britain on that occasion to address students of Oxford University, hoping to follow in the footsteps of people such as S. W. R. D. Bandaranaike, Lalith Athulathmudali and Lakshman Kadirgamar. Alas, it was not to be.
In that instance too protests were organised by supporters of the Tigers. The London Bobbies said they couldn’t do much because you were on a ‘private visit’. Then the university got cold feet and cancelled the event and you had to return not having had the chance to impart your pearls of wisdom.
With all this happening less than two years ago, we would have expected those organising the event on your behalf this year to take extra precautions to ensure that there wouldn’t be a repeat performance. But that is exactly what happened, isn’t it, perhaps on a slightly larger scale?
Now, that is not to say that the British didn’t do anything wrong. When the Tiger supporters gathered in their thousands waving Eelam flags and parading pictures of Prabhakaran, the British Police simply ignored them.
And now they have the cheek to tell us that the Tigers are still a banned terrorist organisation in Britain. If this is how a “banned” organisation in that country is allowed to behave, Mahinda maama, just imagine what an organisation which is not banned could do!
I’m sure, Mahinda maama, that al Qaeda supporters in Britain will take a lot of heart from what happened in London last week. They must be making hurried preparations for their next protest outside Buckingham Palace and planning to burn Barack Obama in effigy!
Why, even its High Commission in Colombo says that it recognise its citizens’ right to protest! So, very soon London will be decked with buntings bearing Bin Laden’s picture, I hope. Unless, of course, such lofty ideals go out the window the moment Uncle Sam tells them ‘do as we say’!
Anyway, Mahinda maama, I don’t think you should worry too much about what happened in London. Your loyal secretary has already told the nation that your visit was an unqualified success and I’m sure if it is repeated often enough on state television, a few people may even begin to believe him.
The other reason why you shouldn’t be worrying too much about what happened in London is because you will have your chance next year-when you are inviting all the Commonwealth leaders for their conference in your backyard, Hambantota.
Mahinda maama, you can invite them, make sure that they are safe and give them the best possible Sri Lankan hospitality, so that they will realise that our country is not the hellhole that these Tiger supporters make it out to be.
And while you are trying to play the perfect host, Mahinda maama, Wimal may want to stage a fast unto death against the Canadian Prime Minister for insulting Sri Lanka by calling for a boycott of the Commonwealth conference.
You may also have to ensure that Mervyn doesn’t tie David Cameron to a tree. After all you can hardly blame Mervyn because even if he does so, the most that will happen to him is that he will be summoned before the SLFP Central Committee where he will be acquitted of any wrongdoing!
It is also fortunate that America is not part of the Commonwealth. If it was a member of the Commonwealth, we would have to invite Obama and Hillary Clinton and then you will be really guilty of harbouring war criminals!
Of course, we all know, Mahinda maama, that this Commonwealth meeting serves no purpose other than to tell the world that no matter what happens in London, you are in absolute control over here, especially in Hambantota.
So I suppose we will have to go ahead with it, regardless of all the threats of a boycott that will come our way. At least on this occasion, you didn’t have to charter a special flight and send that chap Cabraal to the Bahamas to win the bid to host the summit!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-I guess we could also invite al Qaeda to stage a protest in Hambantota when people like Cameron arrive but then we are not like the British-we don’t invite people and then insult them do we?
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