10th, August 1997

Spare time for the old

My darling daughter

I wonder whether you could remember the old lady who lived in the annexe opposite our home. Today, she was all excited. Her son and daughter-in-law were coming to visit her with their family. They seldom came but today they would be with her for a whole day. She was preparing lunch for them. She must have taken a lot of trouble over the lunch for the aroma of cooking food reached me, making my mouth water!

I sit in the porch often daughter because it is interesting to see the moving crowd and it keeps my mind off my own pain. At eleven O'clock in the morning, I think, the old lady had finished her cooking and came near the door. She looked anxiously up the road for a sign of her son. She waited for a while and then went in, a few minutes later again she came out, there was yet no sign of her presious son. She saw me and said "My son is coming with his family for lunch. I have cooked all the food he likes and I made some sweets for the children. I hope they come soon or the food will get cold."

She was yet waiting for them when I came back after lunch. "Do you think they would have met with an accident. I asked him to come early because I like to be with the children - he said he would - but something must have happened!" She gazed anxiously again, and walked up to our gate to see the road better. I felt sorry for her, as if watching a road will make anyone come faster! "He is so busy" she told me "and his wife is working. That's why they come so seldom to see me. "She sounded defensive. I smiled saying "Oh I know the young have so much to do."

Ultimately at about 1.30 they arrived. A smartly dressed young man, and two little ones of about six and seven. Apparently the wife had not been able to come. They must have had their lunch very quickly for soon, even before little Suren from next door could come to see me for his mother to have a rest - he comes at about 2.30 p.m. the family got into the brand new car and drove off.

Mrs. Silva stood at the door waving at the children till the car was lost to sight. She came towards the gate and said "I'll send you some sweets - I made a lot but the children could not take them home because Amal says they'll be eating them all the time and it'll spoil their teeth." She was silent for a while and then said "Amal is so busy and my daughter-in-law, she had another urgent appointment so she could not come. Will you come and have some dinner with me this evening?" I normally don't like to go out for dinner, but Mrs. Silva looked so sad that I accepted.

The sadness of old age, I thought walking to Mrs. Silva's is loneliness. Youth have so little time for the old and even the loved son or daughter who was so involved with their parents seek other pastures and move away. The parents are left alone, only with their memories.

When we were young our grandparents were part and parcel of our lives. Often they lived with us and were the confidantes of the secrets we could not share with our parents. Today everybody is so rushed and the old can only watch the blur of movement. Could you not persuade your friends to spare some time with those who are old, before it is too late? Then there will be no necessity to regret as Gwyn Thomas says," I remember those happy days and often wish I could speak into the ears of the dead the gratitude which was due to them in life and so ill-returned."

Ammi

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