02nd November 1997

Soraya Hussain appears on our Mirror cover this week in a creation from the 'Inspirations' range. Her hair and make-up was by Purnima Abeyratne. She was photographed at Waycoir P. V. T. Limited, Majestic City by Anuruddha Medawattegedera

Contents Find the time to listen Her vision is to write... Sabitha's secret ......

Find the time to listen

My darling daughter,

Yesterday daughter, Anil was here - can you remember him, the young boy who would be up to all kinds of mischief - He has failed his examination and is very unhappy. "I never wanted to follow that course of study. I wanted to do marketing but you know my parents have no time to listen." In the evening, Annette came in complaining that her husband had no time to listen to her problems and this morning old Mrs. Perera was saying, "I wish I had someone to talk to, someone who'll listen to me."

I was saddened daughter, that people seemed so rushed or involved with themselves that they had not time to listen - listening to my mind means showing one cares and is concerned - Listening in a sense takes a person away from one's own little world to reach out to touch and comfort another. I wondered whether we have lost that ability to listen because of the pressure of life or is it that we just aren't concerned anymore about anything else but our own views and opinions.

It is strange in a world which is so involved with communication that the two-way path of personal communication is so neglected and rejected. I think, in a way, it is this lack of communication, the ability to listen that is creating so many problems in the family - When we were young before we went to bed there was time to tell our parents what happened during the day - They listened and encouraged us to talk. Perhaps as teenagers we did not quite approve of all advice given but at least they knew what we thought. A husband and wife had time to listen to each other usually when the children were asleep and no distraction of the TV was there, a husband and wife discussed their problems and listened to each other's worries and fears. Unless you know what the other is thinking how can you understand the worries, the moods and problems another has." I think our suicide rate among the young is so high because there is no one to listen to them, allow them to talk of their fears and problems.

I wish daughter families would think of a listening time, a time when they listen to each other. After all what is the purpose of all the economic wealth and position one has if love is lacking, the love that can show one cares, by listening to another. Do you think I am right, daughter when I say that the ability to listen and comfort is the best way to show one's love.

Ammi

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