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Dublin's Fair City
By Afdhel Aziz
Your man in London took leave of London's polluted
streets last week to escape to the relatively unsullied climes of Dublin,
a city which is a scant hour's flight from this burg. Flying in on a Friday
morning, my partner and I checked into a small guesthouse in the centre
of town and set off to explore the cosmopolitan city around us. And Dublin
really is cosmopolitan though it is rare to see a black or Asian face in
the crowd there. But there is a freshness to the city, which manages to
blend the old and the new in harmony, with none of the usual clash of styles
. Architecturally, the buildings run the gamut; from the ancient Dublin
Castle and the sprawling grounds of Trinity College - to the more modern
efforts like the Irish Film Institute and the cafes and bars which line
the streets. Modern art sculptures brighten up public spaces and finding
your way around is relatively easy since you are never too far away from
the gleaming River Liffy, which runs like a spine through the centre of
the city, neatly bisecting it into the North and South sides.
The modern cultural heart of Dublin is Temple Bar , a place not unlike
Covent Garden in London or SoHo in New York - a bustling district , filled
with cafes, restaurants and bars, serving everything from North African
couscous to Japanese noodles. We had a lovely lunch of fresh Galway Bay
mussels and chicken crostis, and then a dinner of tasty monkfish scallops
in a cream sauce - all at prices much lower than that of exorbitant London.
Surprisingly though, there didn't seem to be any such thing as Irish cuisine
- everyone I asked assured me that the restaurants purporting to serve
it were nothing more than tourist traps.
At night, Temple Bar resounds to the sound of musicans in clubs, playing
cool be-bop jazz and traditional Irish folk music complete with pennywhistle
and bodhran. One touristy thing I didn't mind doing was a literary tour
of Dublin, in the company of two jovial professional actors. They shepherd
a band of visitors across the town, pointing out the famous drinking haunts
of writers like Samuel Beckett, Oscar Wilde and Brendan Behan, performing
excerpts from their works in the middle of the street - most entertaining.
And if you're lucky you might get to see one or two more modern celebrities
who call Dublin their home town - from film director Neil Jordan (The Crying
Game) to pop stars U2 who own the hip Kitchen nightclub . Also worth visiting
is the Irish Museum of Modern Art , at the Kilmainham Hospital building,
a magnificently austere stone fortress, where an Andy Warhol retrospective
was showing, complete with Chairman Mao wallpaper, Campbell soup cans and
helium filled floating balloons.
Dublin is a small city, as evinced by the complete lack of skyscrapers,
but there is plenty to do for a couple of days. But one of the nicest things
about Dublin has nothing to do with sights to see and tourist haunts to
visit - it has to be the people who live in it. Rarely have I encountered
city dwellers who are so genuinely warm and friendly. Ask a Dubliner for
directions and he'll take a good two minutes figuring out the best way
to get you there. They are the easiest people in the world to strike up
a conversation with, curious without being insensitive, engaging and genuine.
 Marriage
is give and take
My darling daughter
A few days ago a friend of mine came to see me. She is a family counselor
and was very upset at the break up of the marriages of so many young ones.
Thinking of the experience I have had of talking to many of your friends
who come to see me, I told her that most of the problems seem to stem from
the fact that one or the other partners was too possessive. They assumed
that after marriage too the exclusiveness of courtship would continue,
but that was not possible. The young husband was usually struggling to
hold down a job in a highly competitive world and the wife, not only had
to run a home but would perhaps be going out for work. The outside world
will now enter into what was once their own special kingdom and unsure
yet of themselves and their relationship to each other, fear takes over,
the fear that the other does not love, that the security of the home is
threatened and then possessiveness sceems to be the only way of preserving
the fragile texture of the marriage. The husband wonders why his wife stayed
late in office or why she took a lift, could she not have come back by
'bus'? When he questions her, the young wife tired after her day's work,
needing to yet attend to housework, naturally gets annoyed and hot words
are exchanged - battle - lines are set.
On the other hand the young husband gets irritated when his wife
nags him for staying late in office or casts aspersions. Once the arguments
start unless one or other is patient and understanding, the marriage cannot
withstand the constant quarrels. The joy of living together gets eroded
and once that happiness is gone then the insinuations tend to be the truth.
I think daughter, if each partner is less possessive about the other,
gives room to each other to grow in their world and also builds up their
own togetherness, then the marriage can withstand the pressures of the
world. Gibran in his book The Prophet referred to the space needed for
love to grow. Love can never really be possessive, if it is then, it is
not a love that can sacrifice for another's happiness. For a marriage to
last, I think daughter, what is needed is an understanding of each other,
a concern that is willing to accept and if necessary forgive.
Ammi
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