 Did
ya miss me?
I'm baaack!! But I must confess, it feels kinda strange getting back
into the writing groove after such a long break. Not saying that I haven't
been taking breaks whenever I felt like it anyway, but I'd managed to get
out of it so completely this time, that it feels strange to actually sit
down and write again. But that familiar itch to sound off seems to be back,
and hopefully, that should help keep the old kidney churning for a while.
Though I hate to admit it, it's been a rather boring time off. I promised
myself that I would use this little break to do all the stuff I needed
to do but couldn't find the time for. Well, the break seems over, but I
still haven't done any of the stuff I wanted to do. But I think that's
absolutely typical though. When we have stuff to do, we complain that we
don't have the time to do the other stuff we want to do. But when we have
time off we'd rather do nothing and still complain. I guess that gives
us something interesting to bitch about while we do nothing - an added
bonus.
I hadn't realised how difficult it is to spend time doing nothing productively
these days. For the first few days of my freedom I was at a loss as to
what on earth to do. Then, as I sat in front of the TV looking for inspiration,
I discovered Hindi Films. That in itself is nothing spectacular - you'd
have to be an utter moron not to be able to find a Hindi movie on Sri Lankan
television. But that discovery led me to another. You see, I hadn't realized
how little credit I had given the Hindi film industry until I actually
started watching Hindi films. I used to think that I could make a pretty
good Hindi Movie myself if I had a boy, a girl, and a decent looking tree.
How wrong I was. Hindi movies are not really the ludicrous collection of
half ideas that they appear to be. If you really think about it, you'd
realise that these movies follow a well-structured formula.
Your average Hindi film consists of three main figures, who we shall
for the moment call (1) The boy, (2) The girl, (3) The villain. Now that
we know the basics, we can go further into the subtleties of Hindi cinema.
If you've ever been confused, let me put things straight by explaining
the crucial parts of a movie, and how the three main characters fit into
the grand scheme of things.
* Girl: Absolutely gorgeous. Just the right mix of sexy, sweet, feisty,
adorable etc ... In other words - just the kind of girl that reminds you
all the time that she is an actress. Paid to fall in love with Boy.
* Boy: Poofter. Floppy-haired, arguably good looking (but if you're
arguing, make sure that you aren't arguing with the average girl. Because
to her, he is 'Soooo cute', and there is no argument) gets to woo girl,
and gets paid for it.
* Villain: Bad dude with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Has a mandatory
physical defect, and a complex which comes from having a mandatory physical
defect.
* The plot: The loosely-thrown-together story line which shows the audience
a connection between boy, girl and villain. For example, boy falls in love
with girl. She, obviously not having the chance to get out much, also falls
in love with him. For the simple reason that there needs to be a story,
villain also has a mild obsession with girl. Villain, simply because he
is the villain, tries to bump off boy. Boy and villain fight, boy wins,
boy and girl run around trees happily ever after.
* Fight sequences: In Hindi films, there are some universal truths about
every fight sequence. First, if guns are involved, the hero is always at
a terrible disadvantage when it comes to firepower. He usually has a puny
revolver with a few bullets and has to face opponents with automatics.
But the opposition always manage to miss him, whilst he manages to permanently
damage at least one of them with every bullet. If there are no guns, it
is an accepted fact that the hero (even if he is a supposed to be a tea
boy), knows a complex martial art which can do damage without him actually
having to make contact with any part of his opponent's bodies. The opposition
is done away with in order of importance. The less significant henchmen
are lain flat with one blow, the significant henchmen take between 2 &
3, and the villain's lieutenant puts up a fight but is also done away with.
A fierce battle with the villain ensues. He is finally defeated and has
to add one more physical defect to his list.
* Dance Sequences: Like fight sequences, these are essential parts of
a Hindi film. They have nothing to do with the plot, but over the years,
have provided a good opportunity for India to show off her vast resources
of trees. But this image is unfortunate as a majority of the dance sequences
in the movies today have very few trees and a lot of stems...
There's more to this lesson boys and girls. But not today. I hear Asha
Bhosle venting her lungs on the tele. Gotta go. I'm hooked.
A life of rock'n'roll
By Ayesha R. Rafiq
There's a new reason why you should visit the Blue Elephant at the Hilton
within the next two months, and it's not because it's the last time you'll
be able to see the 'Blue' as it is. Yes, it will be undergoing refurbishment
in January, but it's also got a hot new DJ all the way from England, who's
guaranteed to keep you rockin' and rollin' through the night.
Rachel Allen, the 28-year-old Britisher from Sussex is into her seventh
year of disc jockeying, and loves every single minute of it.
Working for an entertainment agency in Singapore called 'Inova,' she's
here on a three month stint, and more than eager to give us a taste of
her style.
What's life like as a disc jockey? 'Well, it's tiring. Everybody thinks
you're just up there playing records and having fun, and that it's a great
way to earn some money, but it's really a lot more than that. A song only
lasts about two minutes, and within that time, you've got to pick the new
record, you've got to mix it, you've got to talk to the crowd, it's not
easy, but I still love it," she says.
Through her job she's visited East Malaysia, India, Singapore and Sri
Lanka so far. Her travelling doesn't give her much time to keep in touch
with the folk back home, 'but they're only a phone call away.'
But doesn't she feel lonely sometimes? Yes, she says, but she feels
she's got to do all this and travel as much as she wants to now, while
she's young and has no responsibilities like a husband or a child.
She enjoys being a DJ despite its down sides. Working from 11.00 p.m.
to 4.00 a.m. and sleeping till 1.00 p.m. the next day is not everyone's
cup of tea, and doesn't give her much time to see a lot of the countries
she's visited.
But she likes the action and the life, especially as she can always
join the party goers for a drink during one of her breaks.
Rachel says the Sri Lankan audience is a little more difficult to please
than the English one, for the simple reason that one gets so many varieties
of people in a night club here. Everyone wants a different kind of music,
and you can't really keep all of the people happy all the time, she says.
"But generally I find that the people here like a strong beat,
a lot like the salsa, or the baila as they call it here, in addition to
soul and dance music, and it's nice to be able to play a variety, whereas
in England people are more into dance music."
Although Rachel is here for a short while, she plans to see as much
of Sri Lanka as she can, and also hopes that in time, more women will be
seen on the Sri Lankan night club scene.
More Mirror Magazine * Summer time in Paris
* The strong spirited lad * Oily Hair
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