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Her final escape

What depths of despair drove rag victim Rupa Ratnaseeli to take her own life? Kumudini Hettiarachchi writes:-

The last lines of a story of perseverance, hard work, hope, tragedy, disability, sorrow and tears were written last Thursday in the tiny hamlet of Maha-edanda off the Uragaha-Ambalangoda Road in the south. It was the story of Rupa Ratnaseeli (47) who caught the attention of the media and the people way back in 1975, when she jumped from the top storey of the Peradeniya University women's hostel in fear of severe ragging and ended up alive but paralysed waist down.

Rupa was laid to rest last Thursday in her own little backyard, the family burial plot, after she took her life by jumping into a well on Tuesday in a strange twist of fate. It was Rupa's life, her hopes and dreams which have come to naught that drew us to the "land of cinnamon", Rupa's territory, where the university's alumni association had built a cosy little home for her with all facilities.

As we sat with Indra Padmaseeli, a younger sister, in the hall of "Sarasavipaya", Rupa's body lay in the next room. Dressed in bridal attire she seemed at peace. Two wicks of a lamp, flanked by two vases with artificial yellow roses, flickered at the head of the coffin. A few men, women and children trooped in silently to see her.

And sister Indra spoke of their childhood together, of the traumatic years, not only to Rupa herself but also to the other family members, after she became disabled. They were four children — three girls and a boy. Their father was a teacher at a school close to their home.

When their mother got an appointment as a pupil teacher, their father had told her that he would give the Rs. 100 she would get as her monthly salary, so that she could stay at home and look after the children. They also had some paddy land. They were not very wealthy, but could manage with the resources they had.

The first blow came when Rupa was in the Ordinary Level class and their father was killed in a train accident. The difficulties began then. They had to survive on their father's pension and whatever they could get from their land.

But their mother was adamant that Rupa should do her higher studies. Rupa did qualify at the Advanced Level and gained entry to the Agriculture Faculty of the University of Peradeniya. Not only her family, but all those in the sleepy village were ecstatic. She was the only girl from there who would get an "upadi" (degree). The family got everything organized and she was off to Peradeniya in 1975. But things did not seem to be going well for her. Soon after, she had sent a suitcase full of new clothes back home, as senior students had cut off all the sleeves and mutilated them during ragging.

The next they heard was that she was in hospital after jumping from the top storey of her hostel. That was the day life changed tragically for the family. Their mother was with her in the Kandy Hospital for three long years and all resources were channelled to her. "I remember staying with Rupa at the hospital when Amma had to collect the pension. That girl suffered a lot of pain. Her agonised screams would reverberate round the ward," Indra said with unshed tears in her eyes.

Then it was Ragama Hospital where she underwent physiotherapy and learnt how to manage on her own. Later she came back to the "maha gedera" (family home) and lived there. Their mother's time and energy were spent looking after Rupa. It also disrupted the other children's lives and their education.

All this was 24 years ago. But later she got a lot of aid. "This house was built for her and she had everything. Amma died in May last year. They were very close. The pension that Amma got stopped and we were making arrangements for Rupa to get it because she was entitled to it as she was disabled for life. We too did everything possible for her. All the food was brought from our homes, but since January there was a change in her attitude towards us. 'Mage paaduve inda denna,' (Leave me alone), she would say to us," Indra said.

She said, "Rupa found some girls who had a van with whom she went around. We were scared because she needed looking after and was not keeping well. Her legs were swelling and we had to give her penicillin. She used to sew beautiful clothes and those girls got her to do everything free, when she could have sold the clothes."

"The evening before she died I went to see her on my way back from school and she was okay. It was early next morning that I was alerted by malli who lived next door to her that he had found her wheelchair near the well. There was no sign of Rupa. Her house was fully lit with the fans on and the doors open. We found her body in the well."

"I don't know why she committed suicide at this point. She had everything," Indra said voicing slight anger at her sister's behaviour. "Dukata vediya kenthie," I'm more angry than sorry."

A mourner, S. Premaratne a "rata-cadju" (peanut) seller in the town, who climbed into the well to get Rupa's body out, hadn't noticed anything strange about her behaviour the night before she committed suicide. "Cadju nedda?" (Don't you have any peanuts?), she asked me on my way home that evening, he said.

She usually gave him a list of provisions and fruit she needed, along with the money, and he bought them for her in the town. She used to joke and chat with him. He couldn't believe that she had killed herself.

As we left Rupa's home, several questions arose for which we didn't have any answers.

Was Rupa lonely? Her neighbours said that she kept to herself. What had been her aspirations? Before she knew what fate had in store for her, she too would have had the dreams of any young girl — a degree, a good job, a husband, a home of her own and children. Wide horizons.

But after the incident which changed her life forever and confined her to a wheelchair, what did society do? Yes, we made a hue and cry about the effects of brutal ragging taking her as an example.

But has the ragging been stopped effectively? Society provided her with a comfortable life, with all the physical things that money could buy.

But was any thought given to her mental state, how her permanent disability would affect her feelings and yearnings?

Now it's too late. Rupa's story has ended. We can only hope that when she is laid to rest beside her mother's grave, with a bright red hibiscus plant flowering over her remains, that she will find peace in her journey through Samsara.

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