The Fifth Column

1st August 1999

Advice to Sanath Jayasuriya

My Dear Sanath,

I thought of writing to you as the dust must have settled somewhat now since it is some time since your appointment as captain.

But even while congratulating you, I must also warn you that you have taken on the toughest job in the country- even tougher than the President of the country.

You see, when the cricket captain pledges to retain the World Cup and he can't keep his word, he is promptly sacked. But when the President promises something and can't keep her promise, we can't sack her that easily and that is why I say yours is the most difficult job in the country!

Anyway, you had said that the 'seniors'- the two 'A's, I suppose- have promised you all the co-operation that they can give. Noble words indeed, Sana, but somehow I find it difficult to see Captain Cool running around taking orders from you and the same holds true for the other 'A' as well.

Anyway if your idea in saying that was to humour the Old Chap and make him believe that he still has a chance of making it to the team, then you have said the correct thing. But if you really meant what you said, I can't see any reason why we should talk of a revival of our cricket just yet.

Anyway, Sana, we were eagerly waiting to see you at that press conference held by the two 'A's and the 'former regime' at the cricket board, but you never showed up. Absence might not make the heart grow fonder in this case, but I think you made the right decision in not being party to what was essentially a stage-managed spectacle.

But of course, Sana you must always remember that those who now hail you as the best thing that happened to Sri Lankan cricket, will pounce on you and call for your resignation when we lose a couple of matches.

That after all, is nothing peculiar in this part of the world, Sanath.

After the World Cup, all three Asian cricket captains have been removed and Wasim in Pakistan is even facing match-fixing charges.

So remember that your stay at the top may also be a difficult one.

But whatever you do, Sanath, remember to steer clear of the politicians, specially that Seeni Bola fellow.

They will try to jump in front of the camera whenever you win a trophy but when you are down in the dumps they won't even look at you- and that is precisely what Seeni Bola did with your predecessor!

Whatever it is Sana, with the old enemy, the Australians, coming for a tour here soon we wish you well. And do remember to teach that fellow Warne a good lesson. It will be even better if you can get old Francis to no-ball him for chucking!

Yours Truly,

Punchi Putha

PS- As we all know, not all Sanaths are lucky these days.

So whenever anyone asks for your name, be sure to say it in full, surname and all or else, you might get a totally different kind of treatment!

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