The Fifth Column

15th August 1999

Most are square pegs in round holes

My Dear Sanath,

I thought I must write to you because they are all talking about you, even more so than the other Sanath who was recently appointed as boss of the cricket team.

You know, Sanath, I feel really sorry for you when I see all these sordid stories about you being thrown around quite carelessly with so many allegations and counter-allegations, as if there were no laws of defamation laws in this country.

But I think, Sanath, you made one big mistake and that was taking on this media job, my dear chap. Why, they are screening that 'Ganga Addara' film once again and doesn't that remind you how happy you were, acting the hero, running around rose-bushes, twirling a blade of grass with someone like Vasanthi running around you!

But then, you might argue that it was not only you who did that mistake- taking on a job that one cannot handle. Why, if we look around us there are so many who are doing something else other than what they are supposed to be doing and are in one big mess because of that.

Now take, young Mahinda, for example. He is a lawyer but he is being told to look after fish. As far as I know, lawyers live because of their mouths and fish die because of their mouths, but then, that is what Mahinda has been asked to do!

Then, there is Seeni Bola who is in charge of youth affairs and sports. Now, Seeni Bola is anything but young and I can't picture him being athletic and running the hundred meters in eleven seconds unless of course, someone else- you know who- is running after him. But there it is, and both our youth and our sports are in a sorry state because of that.

Then, there is the other lawyer, Nimal. Now, he has been asked to look after the doctors but things are in such a sorry state now, so much so that if he falls ill doctors are not likely to look after him!

Then there is the dress-designer turned media man and it must be said that all his designs on the media have fallen flat, with all this talk about a Mafia and burning effigies.

But what interested me, Sanath was what Satellite had said at a convocation recently. She had said she too was doing not what she originally wanted to do: she wanted to become a doctor but couldn't enter medical college and she ended up becoming the boss of us all!

Just imagine, Sanath what a costly mistake those medical college chaps made at that time. If they had only selected her, Anura would have been the president today and -since Satellite opposes anything Anura does- she would probably be leading the GMOA now! Ah, I daresay the loss to politics was medicine's gain! I know, Sanath, when I tell you all this you might argue that even those who are doing what they are supposed to do- are not great successes. Why, the law professor is the justice minister but what happens? They arrest judges for attempted murder! And the General is leading the war effort but what happens? The war never ends.

But despite all that, Sanath, what I am trying to tell you here is that you would have been better off sticking to those rose bushes and pretty girls instead of trying to get involved in television channels.

But I suppose it is still not late. Maybe you can go back to your friends in the film world and still make a decent living. That would teach all these fellows who are talking of bribery and corruption a good lesson- then they won't have any issue to burn coffins and stage protests and life will be a lot easier for Satellite and her ministers. So, think about it, will you?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha.

PS- Why don't you become like the other Sanath, our cricket captain? What he does is to either hit out or get out. He doesn't stay around trying to defend himself. Maybe you could do the same!

Rajpal Abeynayake's Column

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