12th December 1999

They get this chance only once in six years

Weda Balana Chanda Comasaaris,

I thought I must write to you before it is too late because very soon you will be very busy and about ten days from now you may get a promotion or a demotion or who knows, they might even make you an ambassador to somewhere! It must be a funny feeling isn't it to suddenly become a very important person- probably the most important person in the country- after being almost a nobody in some Provincial Council? No wonder then, that every Tom, Dick, Harry and Ivan is jealous about you- that is why they are filing petition after petition against your appointment. I'm sure, dear Comasaaris, that you are not disturbed by that!

But there are still a few things that puzzle me in this election. As far as we know, Comasaaris, even posters are illegal during the campaigning period. But everywhere we go the faces of Satellite-trying to look like Indira Gandhi with that special patch of white- and the Green Man-trying to look like Clinton, they say-are grinning at us and you have done nothing about it. Why is that, my dear Comasaaris?

Then there are the cut-outs. Again, there are larger than life pictures of the 'couple' smiling at us from almost every junction. I think you ordered the Police to remove them but nothing happened. In fact, after your order, they showed on television how policemen were busy removing black paint splashed on one such cut-out of Satellite! But now they say that Satellite has given an order and that all the cut-outs are being removed, so that should be all right.

Then there is this problem about advertising by political parties on private TV channels, Comasaaris. We all know that the state TV stations are doing their bit for you-know-who, and that without any payment too, so why not allow the other stations to earn some money by way of advertising- after all, they get this chance only once in every six years! Then, tell that Maadhya Emathi chap to stick to attending press-conferences, will you, instead of trying to control each and every radio and TV station in the country?

Comasaaris, you should also warn the Green Man a little- he is also doing a bit of unethical advertising. The other day, he has pulled out a two-hundred rupee note at a rally and told the people 'here is our work record' signed and approved by Satellite herself! And sure enough, on the reverse side of the note there are small drawings of all the developmental activity initiated by the greens- except maybe a small picture of the BMICH!

I thought that was clever until someone told me that was unfair advertising. Maybe, Comasaaris, Satellite might soon ask you to request the Central Bank to withdraw all the two-hundred rupee notes until the election is over because it is free propaganda for the greens- just like when she asked you to fix the nomination dates before her 'Senasuru Dasaawa' begins! Anyway, I then pulled out my purse and went through all the other notes to see whether there were any other notes that depicted what the blues had done but I could only find an old ten rupee note with a picture of the late SWRD in it! So, Comasaaris, it looks as if either the blues haven't done anything or that there must have been a green conspiracy with the help of the Central Bank! You should look into it, Comasaaris.

Comasaaris, I thought I must also warn you that you are about to get into the history books as the man who presided over the election with the most number of spoilt votes. You cannot help that, Comasaaris but I hope that you don't make it into the history books as the man who presided over the most-rigged election.

You know, it's not that I don't trust Satellite- she is always telling us the polls will be free and fair- but there are these rumours about Samurdhi agents and also about soldiers voting in the North and East. Some people say that is also a green conspiracy to discredit Satellite when she wins with sixty-five per cent of the vote but something tells me she wouldn't get that much of the vote this time around!

So, Comasaaris, take care in the next few important days. This is your fortnight of fame so we hope you will use it wisely and for the greater good of the country.

Yours Truly,

Punchi Putha.

PS- I don't know whether you have heard about him, but there was this Chief Justice called Neville Samarakoon. When he was appointed to the post almost from nowhere- like you! - they said he was JR's man and that he would favour JR. But he did an honest job of work, so much so that JR himself then wanted him removed- but he couldn't do that and Neville today has made his mark in history as being among the best CJs we have had. If you want some inspiration for the next few days, then the late Neville might be just the man to provide you with that!

The Jungle Telegraph

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