20th February 2000

Welcome to Parliament!

I just had to write to you, Satellite, after your award-winning performance at the Budget. As usual, you managed to charm your way out of the situation by presenting a budget that meant nothing for most people by your historic appearance.

Full marks to you for that, Satellite. That was the type of trick that would have made even JR blush- even though you are outdoing him in most of his tricks.

There we were, thinking that we will never see you in the flesh again when you kept away from Independence Day because Velu has his eyes set on you.

But then, there you were, looking bright and cheerful and what could the poor greens do except welcome you to Parliament and hope that you would go there every day.

Of course, don't even think of doing that because they would then have to close all the roads in the area and then everyone would start blaming you for that!

Anyway, we must all spare a thought for poor GL too. That's the professor's only chance to get a few hours of free television time and that opportunity also comes just once a year. And there you are spoiling it all for him, after he has taken a clean shave, put on his best tie and practiced how to clear his throat, so that he appears at his best on TV.

As for you Satellite, you too wore your favourite saree didn't you? We all remember that saree as the one you wore when you chaired the SAARC conference. We are not complaining though it just shows that you are not the Imelda Marcos type who wouldn't wear the same dress twice!

However though, most people are complaining about the budget. There is nothing in it for ordinary folk, only a lot of economic jargon which I'm sure even you may not have understood.

Indeed, when you were reading the budget, it did sound as if you were seeing some of those words for the first time in your life and we don't blame you for that either!

Nevertheless, what everyone says is that the budget was an useless exercise because diesel and gas prices had been increased before that and there were no concessions to offset that. Had poor GL presented this budget he and your government would have been roasted for ignoring the masses.

But now most people are only talking about how courageous you were to do what you did and some of them do forget that the budget was useless. Good strategy, Satellite you are killing two birds with one stone.

Now, don't tell me that you did a great service by abolishing the radio and TV licences. You too admitted that no one took those licences seriously.

But tell me, if we all refrain from obtaining other licences, the car licence, for example would you scrap those too? You could set another 'first' to add to your so many 'firsts' if you do that too!

Of course, we do not expect you to be attending the budget debate daily. We know that these days you are busy with that Norwegian chap, drafting letters to Velu.

By the way, what does Lucky K say about this exercise. He vehemently opposed any kind of mediation some time ago, didn't he?

Anyway, Satellite, best of luck. You have once again carried the day for our Alliance. The question is, how long can you keep doing that?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha.

PS- This was heard after your budget performance: Why is Satellite like a forecast of rain from the weather office? Because both don't come when they are expected but, when they are least expected!

Rajpal Abeynayake's Column

Editorial/ Opinion Contents