17th September 2000

Look who is talking!

5 th Column

I thought I must really write to you after you became a hot topic this week, getting 'caught' to our brilliant CID trying to print some stickers in your effort to hold a free and fair election.

You know, Dayananda, we had almost given up hope of ever seeing a free and fair election in this country, so this news that you had something up your sleeve was very welcome indeed- until the CID came in and spoilt it, after which we are back to square one, of course.

But we must be the only country isn't it, Dayananda, where the government is accusing the Commissioner of Elections of trying to rig the election? And that must be why we call ourselves a five-star democracy! And, now we know how Wayamba was won and how the last presidential election was won- you rigged those elections, didn't you, Dayananda?

No, I'm not joking. This is what Seeni Bola wants us to believe. Why, he came on television the other day and said that you should 'take a decision about your job'. If I know Seeni Bola well enough, I think he was loudly hinting that you ought to resign, Dayananda.

You know, Seeni Bola is the man who is best qualified to ask you to resign because his integrity has never been questioned. You see, when female athletes made loud noises about VIPs harassing them in the Sports Ministry, Seeni Bola didn't resign. When there was a financial scandal over a television deal in the Cricket Board, he didn't resign. When the cricket Board elections ended in a street fight, he didn't resign.

And Seeni Bola should know all about rigging elections, shouldn't he? Why, one of these days he might turn around and say that Maithripala tried to rig the election for the post of general secretary of the blue party. In fact, it's a good thing that Seeni Bola won that election, or else, he would have accused you of rigging that election too!

And that poor chap Alavi is so confused with what you are doing, Dayananda. He wants to know why you couldn't print the stickers at a government-owned press. I agree with him wholeheartedly. Why, you should have indeed printed the stickers at Temple Trees. That would have saved a lot of GST for the government. And you could have saved more on the labour costs by asking the Cabinet to come and paste the stickers on the polling cards. I'm sure those patriotic people would have worked night and day to save the state a few million rupees!

Why, I heard that the 'pirisindu, buddhimath' law professor was burning the midnight oil studying the constitution, trying to figure out a way of getting rid of you but even he couldn't find any loophole, they say. So, we are all stuck with you, whether we like it or not!

I think the next best thing you could do now is to suggest to Seeni Bola that he should try and get rigging elections included as an Olympic sport. Then we can win all the medals, gold, silver and bronze,!

Yours truly
Punchi Putha

PS - Dayananda, after all is said and done, you will have a choice: whether to be remembered as just another Commissioner of Elections- who will probably get a promotion - or, to be remembered as one of the very few men in recent times like Neville the CJ or Gamini the minister, who stood up for what they thought was right, regardless of the consequences, and at tremendous personal sacrifice. The choice is yours, Dayananda, and from what we have seen of you already we are confident you will take the correct decision!

The Jungle Telegraph

Editorial/ Opinion Contents