Slanglish: it's 'cool' man
I ask you - why does no one greet each other with
'Hello, how are you?' anymore? Get real, men - life has changed. Call me
old, call me 'duh' but I still wonder what has happened to English. The
language is now dominated by 'duh' (the meaning of which I am still unable
to comprehend, though a  concerned
sibling has tried to enlighten me several times).
English is no longer an elegant and sophisticated language. I wonder
what went wrong - and the promoters of new English say, "Just cool it men,
if you want to be 'in' get with it.'
Laugh to your hearts content, - but that is the sad fate of English,
for English is no longer English, it is very simply a mix of sounds that
make no sense to a self-respecting adult. That's the situation parents
and all students of the School of Correct English (SCE) are faced with,
for they are unable to understand the younger generation any longer because
of the all new and improved versions of English that have hit our society.
'Why?' cry the patrons of the School of Correct English in anguish.
Simple, the English language has, like us humans, evolved. Gone are the
days when one would have addressed those closest to one's heart with 'Thou
art mine own.' (Shakespeare in his heyday would have looked at us with
disdain).
That was English 0.1. Then we reached the English 1.0 era, which, too,
any lover of American Comedy will frown upon. During the swinging sixties
(I am told by a devout follower of the craze) started English 2.66 the
flowery version of Old English. But now with English 2.001 hitting the
market at a steadily increasing speed, English is no longer English it
is very simply:
Slang+English = Slanglish!
We reached a situation a few years back where 'yes' was replaced with
the more easily manageable 'yeah'. Remember the time when 'cool' referred
to 'at a fairly low temperature?' Well, now it means - excellent. How about
'neat' which a decade ago meant tidy and methodical? Guess what, it now
means: 'cool'. Wonderful, right?
I vaguely remember my English teacher complaining that 'kinda' was actually
formed of two words and was better as 'kind of' and that 'cos was a disgusting
method of shortening 'because'. She, I recall would throw her arms up in
despair when we girls exclaimed, "Hey, that guy is so cute!" Oh the poor
misguided soul, you laugh - get with it, this is English! The root of the
problem I'm informed, is robbers and outlaws. Robbers and Outlaws? 'Yup',
it seems that those unmentionables were the first to come up with strange
sounds to signal each other in case of an attack and voilá, Slanglish
was born. But to this outdated reporter Slanglish was actually nurtured
by the Americans (nothing personal).
Remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their ever-frequent use
of Dudes, Dudette and Kawabanga? That was in one way the beginning of modern
Slanglish. For ever since the Turtle revolution, the young adults of today
address each other with, 'Yo, wussap dude!' (don't despair, there follows
the translation - Yo is not the shortened form of the popular Chinese Yo-Yo
but a modern form of greeting and wassup is actually a faster method of
saying 'What's Up' - i.e. what has been happening.'Dude' is another way
of saying 'fellow')
All you stiff upper-lipped believers of English, there it is in black
and white. There remain two options, get with it and try to incorporate
some Slangish into your own vocabulary or go cry to your hearts content!
Later folks, I'm off for my own lesson!
How the experts see it:
Says Dr. Manique Gunesekera of the University of Kelaniya, "Slang has always
been present in the English Language - and as the English started their
own colonization, it was inevitable that the language too would start to
get localized. It's actually the media that brought about this new 'English'
that we talk of - for what the BBC was to us ten years ago, CNN has taken
over. It's the media that is now setting the stage for English.
But English could never boast of solitary splendour. For in the same
manner that English has influenced Sinhala - Sinhala has influenced English.
The other reason being that since English is known as the universal language,
the natives of other languages start incorporating little bits and pieces
of their mother tongue also into English.
Prof. Ashley Halpe who retired as the Senior Professor of English at
the University of Peradeniya and is now a visiting lecturer believes it's
a definite case of who's speaking where, for the language itself is provisional.
"Whatever the language for that matter, the area and the culture in which
it is spoken has an impact on the language itself. That is the dynamic
nature of the language. The regional dialect leaves an unmistakable impression
on English itself.
The 'supposed' standard of the language changes from place to place.
For there are over six nations that now have their own established 'literatures'.
During the Elizabethan era, Ben Jonson one of Shakespeare's contemporaries
wrote 'The Poetaster' in which he satirized other writers' use of English.
In the contemporary world, the use of these same words is considered quite
'normal'. The introduction of such words to the written language, however,
takes longer, but the vocabulary of the spoken language does change from
time to time.
The Slanglish Dictionary
The creator of the English Language is probably turning in his tomb, so
as a bit of Social Service we present a Slanglish Dictionary of sorts:
airhead: implies that there is nothing but air in the subject's head
i.e. moron, dimwit
bananas: unbelievable, crazy
beat: tired
big time: in a grand way
bug: to react with irrational distress
bum: to be depressed
buzz: to call on the telephone
cheesed off: angry or annoyed
chill: to relax, hang loose
crummy: inadequate or displeasing
dig: to like
duds: clothes, threads
far out: cool, hip, jiggy
flick: a movie
geek: to display an embarrassing amount of happiness
hot: attractive
loaded: wealthy
no, duh: sarcastic response when some one states the obvious
off one's rocker: crazy, out of control
peachy: good
rad: excellent
suck: to be inadequate
wacko: crazy
yeah right: doubt, disbelief |
