Untitled Document

Lanka needs to be in one piece, not three
My dear Rauff, I thought of writing to you when I heard that you too had gone to the Wanni to see the powerful Mr. Pirapaharan, as he calls himself now. I suppose you could claim the distinction of being the first government minister since the late great All Countries Seen to have met the man himself and I daresay it will look good on your CV when you are nominated for the Nobel Peace prize -or at least the Magsaysay-one day, but then Rauff, what really were you talking with him?

But first tell me Rauff, all the scribes who went for last week's show were screaming in protest against having every square inch of their anatomy searched. Now, did they do that to you or did they just welcome you with open arms? And so it looks like Mr.P has nothing better to do these days other than sign Memoranda of Understanding first with the Green Man and now with you. Well, according to you he agrees to recognize you and your party as the 'sole representative' of 'your people' just as much as Mr.P is the 'sole representative' of 'his people'. Gosh, I wonder what the Mohomeds and the Fowzies must be thinking about that!

But Rauff, you must be careful because being in the company of Mr. P puts you in a rather delicate position, doesn't it? And anyway, you only have to stop shaving for a few days to look a little like that missing Osama chap- so just make sure that Uncle Sam doesn't get the wrong ideas! So, now do you dream of being Shiekh or Emir or whatever of the East, being the regional equivalent of what Mr. P will get for himself in the North? Not bad, eh, after Mr. P does all the dirty work for you to run off with the spoils?

Never mind, Rauff, we won't grudge you your fifteen minutes of fame but we do hope that this fashion of being photographed with the elusive Mr.P.-begun by that Solheim chap- doesn't catch on. Who knows, the Mahanayake Theros might want to see Mr. P next and the poor fellow's diary will be clogged up with all these photo opportunities. After all, the man has a terrorist organization to run! Then, Rauff, there is the Eelam question. Mr. P still says that he hasn't given up on the idea, so how far more are we going to extend our generosity to him? Don't forget that he's bitten the hand that fed him before which is why India for instance is insisting that Mr.P still has to be brought to book. And, Rauff, compared to what the tiger has had for dinner-Rajiv and our own Mr.P- you are small fry, my friend!

But of course, as the man who brought down the previous government so maybe you fancy yourself as the peacemaker here. But just remember, at the end of it all, we want one piece;not three!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha.
PS- Of course, you must also remember that you are not the first to go to the North and talk to the Tigers. Remember, Satellite and VJ did it sometime ago when they were 'podiyens' in politics? And VJ took pot shots at cut-outs. At least, you didn't do that, did you?

Back to Columns