5th Column

Actor, acting president and efforts to put an act together
My Dear Satellite,
I thought I must write to you even though you may be in your favourite Britain, addressing women's rights activists there because your absence here has already raised a few eyebrows.

I am not sure whether anyone tells you about these matters anymore, Satellite, but I think Mahinda maama is still trying to upstage you in whatever you do. If not, why would he want to address a gathering of local females on Women's Day and tell them that the era where top places where reserved for ladies from elitist families was over?

Of course, the fact is, Satellite, he may have got himself the top job in the country but he is yet to get the top job in the party which is why he is smarting so much. And, trust you, Satellite, to do something really cheeky about that!

However, I must say Satellite, there was a time we admired you for your political cunning, especially when you ousted Ranil's government by dissolving Parliament after solemnly promising him the day before that you wouldn't even dream of such a move. But lately, you seem to have become like the UNP, not being able to even get simple political strategies right.

There you were, on a plane to London, safe in the thought that the party reins had been given to poor old Ratnasiri, so that Mahinda maama does not get any bright ideas of taking control while you were away. And the very next day we hear that what you had done was unconstitutional and that there was no provision for an 'acting' party president!

Of course, Satellite, the tragedy is that although your party cannot have an 'acting' president, our country appears to be having a President who acts rather well. There he was during the election campaign, acting as the champion of the Sinhala race with the fervour of a Dutugemunu reborn. Now we have him acting as if he was Norway's poodle, saying yes to everything they want while retaining the ceasefire he so wanted to tear up. Maybe for the next 'Sarasaviya' awards, they should invite him not as the Chief Guest but as a contender for the best actor category!

But Satellite, I am sure you have your own devious little plan for him and the bungling over Ratnasiri was just a small setback from which you will bounce back soon. But you too will have to be careful in what you say and what you do.

There you were, raving and ranting that the invitation you received from Maithripala was sent at short notice only to be told that it was a meeting not of the Blue party but of the Alliance where you really had no say! Then there was your foray to Biyagama where they booed you with a hoot or two. If you want to take my advice, Biyagama doesn't seem like a place where leaders are made!

In the meantime, I can only ask you to take a leaf from the books of JRJ and DBW, the only other retired executive presidents this country had. Once they retired, people hardly knew they existed and they were quite content to be away from the limelight. Even the Old Fox, whatever his antics were while he was in power, wanted it that way. I agree that retiring at 60 and at 82 are not quite the same thing, but think about it, will you?
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-We saw in the newspapers that you had moved in to your new home in Colombo. It is not that we expected Mahinda maama to drop in as the first visitor in your new abode, but it appeared that the only one around was your pet dog. Well, at least, you must be happy that the faithful animal doesn't bite the hand that feeds her!

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