Monday – traditionally considered the worst day of the week – was actually the nicest day for me this past week. Aleksandra, my highly entertaining Latvian friend, and I decided to take steps towards cultivating some hatred towards our own lives (like all other normal people do on a daily basis) by going out and looking for part-time jobs to keep us out of trouble in the coming months while we write our dissertations. A good idea, of course, considering we could certainly use the money, and, in my case, the forced development of social skills. However, the task of finding a job is a bit like volunteering to be kicked around a football field all day.
Naturally both Aleksandra and I wanted jobs that did not involve the use of gray matter. We have been using that for much too long (being postgraduate students) and would like to send our brains on holiday. I suggested we flip burgers or stand on the street and hand out newspapers – minimum wage in England is certainly sufficient to keep us alive – but Aleksandra had better, more sophisticated, plans… and I have come to understand that necessity will force me to succumb to many unpleasant things in life. Including the possibility of having to smile at spoilt teenagers all day at a costume jewellery store, just for money.
While we had partial success at some places (assuming “we will get back to you” means anything at all), most places sent us packing, saying they had no vacancies. We returned home having little or no hope of employment – though we did get to attend a free gym class, which (though a whole other story) was quite exciting. All in all, it turned out to be a highly fruitful day, in an unexpected kind of way.
I mean, yes, we’d walked halfway across London, had had no lunch, got no jobs and culminated in gaining a couple of sore muscles at a gym that might very well have been about 300-years-old – but the whole enterprise was a lot of fun and a great learning experience. After all, you can only afford to be unemployed for a very short but special season in your life, so you might as well make the best of it, right?
Sure, there is a time to have your act together – but there is also a time to make a beautiful mess out of things in an effort to get to that point where your act is together. And there is clearly a lot of fun to be had on the road to grownup-hood.
Here are some
nuggets of gold:
1. When entering a shop, for example, a bookstore, in order to inquire about job vacancies, be sure that it is a bad idea to stand behind the crime-fiction shelf for extensive periods of time rehearsing your lines. Just go and tap someone on the shoulder and ask for the manager.
2. It is best not to fiddle with things when asked about work experience – tell them you have none (if you have none) but are a fast learner (even if you are not).
3. Unfortunately, even flipping burgers engages gray matter. There is no escape from having to work your brain. Do not underestimate the art of manual labour.
4. Treat your potential boss with respect. Even if he is wearing a Disneyland t-shirt.
5. Do not ever apply for a job in underwear sales. This will give jobless men legitimate reason to inquire after yours. And you would have no business hitting them with a hanger.
|
E-mail