“Thaaththa,” Bindu Udagedera said, “I want to become a minister…”
“That is not an easy task, Bindu…” Bindu’s father Percy advised.
“Why do you say that, thaaththa?” Bindu wanted to know.
“Why, Bindu, first you would have to get elected to Parliament and that I guess is quite difficult…” Percy explained.
“But thaaththa,” Bindu argued, “I think it is quite easy…”
“Why do you say that?” Percy was puzzled.
“Because there is an easy way to become a minister now…” Bindu declared.
“And what way is that?” Percy demanded, “You know, usually you have to spend several decades in the opposition before you can become a minister…”
“No, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “if you want to become a minister quickly, you have to join the Green party first…”
“How can that be?” Percy asked, “the Blue party has been in power for thirteen of the last fifteen years and they may be in power for a few more years at least…”
“That may be true, thaaththa,” Bindu agreed, “but if you want to become a minister quickly, still the best way to do it is to join the Greens…”
“And then wait for them to win the next elections, I suppose…” Percy observed.
“No, of course not,” Bindu said, “that might take quite a long time…”
“Then what do you propose to do to become a minister instantly?” Percy wanted to know.
“Well, the first step is to agitate against the leadership of the Green party…” Bindu said.
“And,” Percy pointed out, “dozens of people have been doing that for dozens of years now but that has not got either them or their party anywhere…”
“No, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “that is not the way to do it…”
“Then what do you propose?” Percy inquired.
“You openly start criticising the Green leader at every possible chance you get and you begin to call him all kinds of uncharitable names in newspaper interviews…” Bindu proposed.
“And what do you expect to happen after that?” Percy was curious.
“Why,” Bindu said, “if you are lucky, the Green leader might even sack you from an important post in the party…”
“But still, Bindu,” Percy said, “that won’t help you in trying to become a minister…”
“Of course it will, thaaththa,” Bindu retorted.
“And how does that happen?” Percy asked.
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu explained, “just imagine all the publicity you get every time you give a television or newspaper interview, labelling the Green leader as an invertebrate or a traitor…”
“But what can you do with all that publicity to become a minister?” Percy was still confused.
“Well,” Bindu declared, “what it does is, it converts you from being a virtually unknown non-entity in politics to a national hero and a patriot overnight at least in some sections of the media…”
“And then, what do you propose to do?” Percy demanded.
“Then,” Bindu said, “very soon the offer will come…”
“And what offer is that?” Percy wanted to know.
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu said, “the offer to join Mahinda maama’s limitless cabinet for which there is only one requirement…”
“What requirement is that?” Percy queried.
“The ability to sling mud at the Greens,” Bindu said, “and who does it better than those who have been Greens themselves?”
“And from where did you learn all this, Bindu?” Percy asked.
“Why, thaaththa,” Bindu explained, “isn’t it what happened to Johnny-come-lately and that previously unheard of other person last week?”
“Well,” Percy observed, “I suppose you could say that…”
“So,” Bindu said, “that is why I said, this is the easiest way to become a minister…”
“But there is one small problem, Bindu…” Percy pointed out.
“What is that, thaaththa?” Bindu wondered.
“I don’t think Johnny-come-lately can get away by simply slinging mud at the Green Leader now…” Percy said.
“Why not?” Bindu asked, “that is what he has been doing all these years…”
“But now,” Percy said, “he would have to sing the praises of the General…”
“How could that be?” Bindu asked, puzzled, “he left saying he cannot support the General…”
“But, Bindu,” Percy said, “the ministry that Mahinda maama has given him is ‘Ranaviru’ welfare…”
Bindu didn’t know quite what to say to that.