My Dear Voter,
I thought I must write to you, as you undertake the rather responsible task of deciding who should lead this country for the next six years. And I must admit, I am also writing to you because I am a little confused about what we have seen and heard over the past several weeks-so I expect you to be confused too!
I am confused mostly because the two people who together won us the war-Mahinda maama and the General- are now battling each other.
I am puzzled as to how the General who was only a few months ago a decorated and celebrated war hero has suddenly become a traitor, a rogue and the most indecent human being in this country. Surely, dear voter, I would expect such a transformation to take at least a few years!
I am also confused because the General who was criticized as going only to Medawachchiya and Pamankada and was described as not being fit to lead even the Salvation Army is now in the company of those very people who criticized him!
Then, dear voter, I am also confused by people like SB, who were calling the General, the ‘Man of the Match’ suddenly deciding that the ‘Man of the Match’ played no role in the match after all. I am even more confused because Mahinda maama decided to take SB back, considering all the abuse that SB heaped on him over the past few years.
Pardon me, dear voter, but I am also puzzled by seeing Uncle Ranil and Uncle Somawansa on the same stage and a sea of green and red flags at the same venue. I know it is not something we expected to see but the question is, what would these two camps-who don’t seem to agree on anything-do, if they win?
And what would Uncle Mangala-who keeps on insisting that he is still part of the Blue party-do? Will he try to return to the Blues with Satellite in tow?
I am also worried about what would happen if the General wins: why, Sri Lanka would be a cultural desert because all the artistes who have supported Mahinda maama would probably flee the country and we would have to watch tele dramas with only that ‘Paba’ lady as an actress!
But of course, I am also worried about what Mahinda maama would do if he wins: retain his cabinet of over a hundred ministers for the next six years? And imagine tolerating Aacharya Mervyn’s antics for another half a dozen years?
But that doesn’t make my task any easier, dear voter. The General is promising us that he will abolish the presidency and I am a little worried about what will happen after that. Does it mean that Uncle Ranil will be Prime Minister? Or Uncle Somawansa? Or even the ‘other’ Uncle Sarath? All three are not prospects that I am very comfortable with, you know…
I am also concerned, dear voter about what will happen to young Wimal if Mahinda maama wins. Surely, after doing so much of play acting, script writing and directing of political dramas over the past few weeks, he can no longer languish as a mere MP? And what should we do, if the Honourable Weerawansa becomes a Minister?
And dear, voter, I also worry about the Elections Commissioner. He says he won’t come to his office after the election and the Supreme Court has said that he cannot be replaced. Does that mean we will not have any more elections? Now, with elections like the one we are having, that is something to be thankful for!
You know, dear voter, thinking about all this makes me confused as to who I should vote for. In 2005, at least we had that Siddhalepa chap who offered each family a cow and if we didn’t like the main contenders we could have voted for him. This year, it seems that both camps are assuming that we don’t need the cows because we all are, well, ‘harak’!
Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS- After thinking about all this dear voter, I thought I would keep it simple in deciding whom to vote for: Do you want more of the same or do you want a change? You decide. But remember, having done that, don’t complain for the next six years! |
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