Mrs Anumaana’s phone has been ringing off the hook with Mrs Aandupaksa’s calls, and as a result her usually serene outlook has been somewhat challenged. Mrs Aandupaksa has been giving a running commentary over the phone on the Accelerated All Island Dengue Prevention Campaign launched by the Samurdhi Officers’ Association. She says it has been demonstrated to them that the solution to tackling the dengue menace lies in identifying those responsible and tying them to trees and since the cabinet is collectively responsible for the health disaster all ministers were being hunted down in order to do the needful.
Already Health Minister Sirisena is up a gum tree, Disaster Minister Fowzie is on a Bamboo tree and Development Minister Basil is on a jam tree. One officer was of the opinion that Minister Mervyn deserved nothing but an “Elloong Gaha,” even though he was only a deputy minister. There was unanimous agreement on this and a team has been assigned to go in search of one.
Mrs Anumaana ventured to observe that there seemed to be overwhelming public support for the new programme, which was showing good results. But according to Mrs Aandupaksa not everyone in government circles is happy about it. Some ministers have gone in a delegation to meet the cabinet spokesman, Minister Keheliya, demanding to know what steps were being taken to control the situation as they were being harassed by Samurdhi officers who were pursuing them, hell-bent on tying them to trees.
With the Samurdhi officers outnumbering the ministers by a ratio of some 600 to one, the prognosis did not look too good for the ministers. But Minister Keheliya’s response was that nobody had lodged a formal complaint about this matter and therefore nothing could be done about it.
In the meantime the campaign’s progress is being reported daily on the front pages of all the newspapers with round-the-clock coverage in the electronic media, both local and international. Minister Keheliya himself was shortly afterwards found tied to a Jambu tree.
Further opposition to the campaign has come from the Naturalists’ Association. They protest that the reputations of the trees used in this programme are being sullied beyond redemption through association with the cabinet ministers, and that people may lose respect for the natural heritage of this country as a result. The Samurdhi Officers’ Association has dismissed these objections, saying that the Naturalists cannot see the wood for the trees, and that the campaign is in the public interest. Never before have Samurdhi officers shown such enthusiasm in the execution of their duties. They were working with zero absenteeism and no supervision.
Sunil meanwhile has launched a “Fast unto Dinner-time” in support of a variety of demands. Mrs Anumaana rather thoughtlessly asked if he would extend the fast till the next day, to help tide over the end-of-the-month cash crunch. Sunil got so agitated at this suggestion that he threatened to call off the fast with immediate effect.
This conversation was interrupted when the phone started ringing again. Mrs Anumaana resigned herself to getting another earful on the dengue campaign. Sunil has retired hurt (and hungry) to his room, where he contemplates the folly of engaging in dangerous brinkmanship without being ready with a “Plan B.”
The writer is a senior freelance journalist. |
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