I never thought I would have to write an Appreciation of Mike Udabage. After all I am over 77 and he was yet a schoolboy when I joined Ananda College as a teacher the year I earned my degree.
I remember my entry into the staff room. I had been transferred from Kegalu Vidyalaya, and I spent days making new friends, catching up with campus buddies on the staff, and getting updated with the newest gossip. Ananda was a new world (to me: I had scholed at the “Other Place” – Nalanda!) with its own traditions and a hilarious staff room. One of the newer stories was of a boy who had recently come first in an All-Island Essay Prize sponsored by the New York Herald Tribune and won an all expenses paid stay of one month (or three?) in America. He had returned a few days before.
That boy was Mike.
In the fading mists of memory I cannot conjure a picture of me actually teaching him, but I was in charge of the Debating Team he was a member of (he had the mug shot of us all in his house at Dehiwela). I do remember his schoolboy face and grin: just a slimmer version of the same face I saw, again, about 50 years later.
It was the Ceylon Society of Australia (CSA) and its Journal, the “Ceylankan”, which brought us together again. We had exchanged emails about something I had written and which had caught his eye because of his interest in ships and boats. Not long after, I had a call from him: from his house in the same town as mine. He called over and thus began a new relationship that led to the creation of the Colombo Chapter of the CSA. He had already roped in his old friend Daya Wickramatunga to be Secretary and now wanted me to be Convenor / President. I was already familiar with the Journal and so had no hesitation in saying “Yes”. This was the beginning of the Colombo Chapter: the first time the CSA had ventured out of the comfort zone of Australia. Naturally, we encountered problems: partly because I was unaware of how the CSA functioned and partly because the lynch-pin of the partnership (Mike) had to divide his time between Sri Lanka and Australia. We had heated arguments by email when he was in Australia but much laughter over a beer, in Dehiwela. The arguments ended, with neither of us winning but with the CSA gaining! I remember that the CSA Constitution was once amended as a result.
My role was to be a father figure: it was Mike who looked after the nuts and bolts, kept accounts, collected subs, lent the Secretary (Daya) a helping hand, talked to the Bank, recruited new members and represented the parent association when the need arose. So it was he who presided at our inaugural meeting and I remember with gratitude that, when I launched a book at a Colombo Chapter meeting, it was Mike who chaired that meeting. When I resigned after two years of chairing, he undertook the task of finding a successor.
Who will, now, take up his task?
The day I heard the bad news I was at a dinner where I met some friends who remembered Mike with great affection. One was fellow Anandian and sometime Army Commander, Gen. Rohana Daluwatte, whom Mike succeeded as Head Prefect. Another was Mahendra Senanayake who had been University Printer when Mike was working in Sri Lanka. Mahendra – older than me – recalls that Mike was one who would accept advice gracefully and, most importantly, give equally good advice to someone who was much senior to him.
Back to Ananda: he went much more than the extra mile when he introduced rowing to Ananda. He found the boats and trained the rowers and was, as usual, their guide, philosopher and friend. As a Level-1 Australian Rowing Coach, he gave this advice to Ananda Rowing on the eve of this year’s Nationals:
“…These are the Rowing Nationals and they are not a dress rehersal. This is it - the final. My rowing coach the late Ray Wijewardane, who passed away recently, gave me a piece of advice I have never forgotten. He saw me getting off a boat after a race and Ray got really stuck into me saying he was watching me getting off the boat with plenty of energy left. ‘Next time when you finish a race I want to see that you have given everything you got, nothing more left, just a limp body’. Extreme? But that is how it was."
The boys responded, winning two Golds and two Bronzes last month.
I have said that this is an appreciation, not an obituary. As Buddhists we know that leaving Life is just like picking up one’s baggage (less what one has discarded and plus what one has acquired) and moving from one Hotel to another in another city –“another suitcase in another hall”. All that matters is not the leaving of it, of Life, but the manner of leaving. Prime Minister W. Dahanayake lost his election, packed his single suitcase at “Temple Trees”, and asked his Secretary: “Bradman, can you please call a taxi to take me to the bus-stand?”
And this is how Mike left Ananda Rowing Association:
“Thursday, September 30, 2010 5:13 a.m.
Subject: My resignation from post of President Ananda College Rowing Association
Ravi,
On my return from Sri Lanka last time I was admitted to hospital and now there is conclusive evidence that I am terminally ill with incurable cancer.
Consequently I wish to resign from the post of the President Ananda College Rowing Association.
If we stick to the foundations we laid down I have no doubt we will, one day, produce Sri Lanka's best oarsmen. I leave you with the feeling that I have done the best I could.
All my best,
Mike”
Ray would have been pleased: “you have given everything you got, nothing more left, just a limp body”. And you asked us for nothing.
Anicca vata sankhara
S.D.
Uncle was a true
servant of mankind
Desmond Fernando, PC
Whilst going down memory lane, I decided to pen a few words about our dear Uncle Desmond, who passed away a few months ago.
Uncle Desmond was born to a distinguished family of lawyers. He was the eldest son of Mr. P. O. Fernando, a civil servant and the first Sri Lankan Election Commissioner. He was my father’s first cousin. His other cousin was the former Chief Justice, H. N. G. Fernando.
As children, we would write letters to our uncles, and occasionally visit them. Uncle Desmond never failed to answer my letters. He sent me a card last Christmas.
Uncle Desmond was the first Sri Lankan Secretary to the Bar Association, and the only Sri Lankan and second Asian to be elected president of the International Bar Association (IBA).
At a felicitation ceremony to mark Desmond Fernando’s 50 years at the Bar, the then Chief Justice described Uncle Desmond as a true servant of mankind. President Mahinda Rajapaksa sent a message, and the Leader of the Opposition was present.
Uncle Desmond, we remember you in our prayers. We are proud of you.
May the Lord look after you. May perpetual light shine upon him.
A loving niece,
Nalini de Livera
No jungle trip will ever be the same without him
F.P. de Alwis
My role model is no more. Chandra was my role model for growing old gracefully and positively.
Chandra to some, Uncle Chandra to most of those he chose to spend his leisure hours with. At 88, he was to me the perfect example of someone slipping seamlessly into old age, with the heart of a teenager and in his own reckoning, the body of a young man in his prime.
Away from the many boardrooms that were his familiar territory over the last few decades, he was fun loving, happy, adventurous and had a great sense of humour, even when he was at the butt end of many a joke. He filled a room with his presence, and being around him was like a tonic.
Up until his death, he drove this extra long double cab, that he bought not more than six months ago and converted it, to make it comfortable enough for him and Rita to do their regular trips to the jungle. Successful entrepreneur and businessman though he was, he was truly in his element when surrounded by nature.
Creature comforts were immaterial to him. He loved camping, and he was the perfect supporter in all things adventurous. No time was inconvenient, no track too tough, no river too deep, no incline too steep and no time like the present to get going.
When I got to know Chandra and Rita really well, they were in their seventies and eighties, but Chandra’s sense of adventure was truly that of a teenager. The eternal optimist, when surrounded by hostile elephants in a vehicle stuck hopelessly in the mud, or traversing a road, that had disappeared beneath rushing flood waters or any of the spooky things that can happen in the middle of a jungle, he was undaunted.
I do envy all those outdoor and fishing fanatics who spent many hours in his company when he was a young man. They must surely have had some great times.
We have spent many a full moon night, with a campfire blazing in the distance, for protection. Chandra’s lusty voice drowning all others, singing those golden oldies, whose words he remembered better than anyone else. He would suddenly break out into songs that I had forgotten even existed.
No jungle trip will ever be the same for me without him. I shall miss him sorely. Words cannot convey my deepest sympathies and sincerest condolences to Rita, his wife, companion and devoted soul mate, of 62 years, who fortunately for Chandra, shared all his interests, especially his love of the wild. I have been privileged to have moved closely with them both, and shared many happy times together. For that I am truly grateful.
Chandra’s demise will leave a void in my life that no one else can fill.
Chandra was truly a man of God, and practised true Christianity in his love for his fellow man, especially those less fortunate than himself. There are so many families whose lives have been forever changed thanks to his magnanimity, both in kind and in spirit. I wonder whether even his wife Rita, knew the breadth and depth of his kindness and compassion. If those whom he has helped along the way were to pass on to others, some small measure of the help they received, that would be the perfect way to make him happy, wherever he is.
I have deliberately chosen not to focus on F.P. de Alwis, the entrepreneur whose uncanny vision, drove him to start from scratch a series of successful industries, that are today thriving tributes to his ability. That story needs to be told. Perhaps I will attempt it at a later date.
I have restricted my tribute to Chandra, the outdoorsman, for that is how I knew him best, that is how I admired him, and that is how I will always remember him.
For the many happy carefree hours spent in his company, I thank him, and will always remember him in the words of his favourite “Hunters Lullaby”, that I would have to sing every night, in the quiet of the jungle, before we turned in.
The words of the lullaby, were composed, by another mutual friend, “Gallinago” of Chilaw, now passed on to a more beautiful realm.
I shall truly miss you Chandra, and dedicate these last lines to you.
“Then sleep tired Hunter and rest,
May Diana prosper your quest.”
Charmaine
Golden memories of baby Charmaine
50 years ago on All Saints Day you passed away at the age of five into the hands of Jesus like His little flower.
On this 50th anniversary of your death, your loving father Shelton Fernando, mother Yvonne and sisters Cheryl, Chanez and Shyami remember you and we believe you are a little angel with the Lord.
“Who shall climb the Mountain of the Lord?
The one with clean hands and pure heart
Who desires not worthless things.” Psalm 23
Hope you knew all along you were the best
Olga Crake
To Darling Mama
As we look back darling Mama we find ourselves wondering did we remember to thank you for all you have done for us. For all the times you were by our side.
To celebrate our successes
And accept our defeats
Or for teaching us the value of hardwork
Good judgement, courage and honesty
We wonder if we ever thanked you for the simple things.
The laughter, smiles and quiet times we shared
If we have forgotten to express our gratitude
We are thanking you now Darling Mama
And hope you have known all along
How much you were loved and appreciated
You were the best Mother ever
You were so special in every way Mama
Our perfect and special Mama.
We love you forever and for always.
From children, in-laws, grandchildren and great- grandchildren.
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