Quick: which of these characteristics are Sri Lankans most known for? A. Their cricket. B. Their conspiracy theories. C. Their criminal minds, corrupt politicos, crooked habits. The answer, some may suggest, is D. All of the above. But today, for the sake of some sunshine after a week of pluvial weather, I want to explore E. None of the above.
To do this, we need to eliminate A, B, and C. That’s easy, you say? Let’s see…
Cricket
This used to be as true about us as it once was about tea, island tourism, apparel, gems, etc. But between the glorious game and the scurry for glory, falls the shadow. It is called Indian dominance; gambling cabals; lack of unity, purpose, vision; political interference; the lure of filthy lucre – call it what you may, it stinks like a long-forgotten wedge of half-eaten durian.
Most islanders have regretted it, ranted and raved against it, rued the day they fell in love with it. And moved on. Romance may be dead… for now – but the marriage still lasts. And though the honeymoon is over, in the aftermath of the World Cup fiasco with all its thrills and spills, we will be back to our first love… some day.
In the meantime, while fireworks may still be on the horizon (depending on how the three-way tug-o’-war between the board of control, our rapidly disintegrating team, and shadowy IPL bosses works out, come May 5), the crowd’s adrenaline is no longer pumping. Colombo has all but hung up the willow and packed its gloves away in the pettagama.
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Embarrass de richesses. While we don’t embarrass easily, the wealth of mud, dirt, and grime that coats the patina of cricketing glory has tinged our once-noble coat of arms with a veneer of unsavoury suspicion. We have all but blotched our escutcheon. And even if us fans haven’t gone as far as turning away in utter disgust, most of ‘Colombo’ (you know whom I mean, dears: it’s you) has breathed a sigh of despair mixed with exasperation, and settled comfortably on the couch for the long haul to 2015. Sofa, so good…
Conspiracy theories
But the brightness and the lightness of a Sunday such as this can’t last, can it? Not when we insist on spoiling the pleasant enough prospect of peace on earth and goodwill towards all with our sorry, sullen, sordid sense of paranoia. Just about everything that is rotten in the state of Denmark can, is, and will be attributed to some dark, deep, international plot hatched in the fertile brains of Ban ki-Moon & Co. From UN-led attacks on our sovereignty, through coming second at a sacred sport, to the ever escalating cost of living! It would be comic, if it wasn’t so tragic. The only thing which persuades me that our conspiracy theorists aren’t entirely loony is that, in the immortal words of Dr. Henry Kissinger: “Just because you are paranoid, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you.” Get it? Good…
Crime, corruption, crookedness
Let’s eschew this, shall we? Enough is enough, as the actress said to the bishop. You didn’t purchase your favourite weekend paper and peruse its pristine pages only to be bombarded by the less pulchritudinous aspects of life in paradise, did you? No, folks, the reality is as tedious as that last sentence! So, rather than chewing the fat on fat-folk grown fatter on the fat of the land, let’s eschew it. Or else, someone’s fat will be in the fire…
Conclusion
The time may not be right to draw the bottom line on our vexed issue. The scope, nay purpose, of this piece is inadequate to cover all aspects of the question raised above. Permit us then, dear reader, to essay an interim suggestion as to the true ethos of Sri Lanka today. The uncanny knack of knowing when to call it quits – and move forward as if nothing happened. The Greeks had a word for it, which we may translate as ‘stoicism’.
The Old French termed it sangfroid. Only us moderns will dismiss these two shades of the same character with apathy and ignorance (we don’t know and we don’t care).
More’s the pity. Because over and above all other possibilities posited, the only real option for Sri Lankans may be to cry, “Mayday! Something’s wrong! Let us investigate!” Even if it causes havoc and lets slip not the dogs of war, but the hounds of peace who will hunt down Colombo’s problem like a scared rabbit. Confront it. Pot it. Stew it. Drain the bitter brew to its dregs. Return to that happy state when A. cricket beats B. conspiracy theories and C. crime, corruption, crookedness – any day. |
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