Bullying does not only happen in the playground. Bullying does not always mean kicking, booing or throwing raw eggs. It can come in different forms, intensities, shapes and sizes. Workplace bullying is more subtle and can be a silent operation, mercilessy stinging the timid and the mild.
 ‘Tough’ or ‘demanding’ managers are not necessarily bullies as long as they are respectful and fair, and their focus is to obtain the best performance by setting high, yet reasonable goals in a healthy organisational environment. In the workplace, though not always the case, most culprits are reported to be the immediate supervisors or the seniors at the same level. One would wonder whether there is a relationship with this and the finding that most people leave due to the dissatisfaction with their immediate boss.
Bullies choose different tactics, from a spectrum of colourful methodologies that is belittling, accusing, undermining, humiliating or intimidating. Bullies can be a threat to your professional status or personal standing when they throw brickbats at you; the sarcasm, inappropriate jokes, persistent teasing and name calling. On a more passive note, they may isolate you physically or socially, ignore you, prevent access to opportunities or keep you out of the loop.
Some bullies may also see that you work like a dog so that they can get highlighted. They may remove responsibly or allocate meaningless tasks, or even set you up to fail. Repeatedly reminding you of your past blunders, they may pull you down. More often than not, they accomplish their mission of breaking your morale or confidence that gives them a feeling of satisfaction and an enormous amount of ‘perceived’- power. Take note of the word ‘perceived’-they think they have the power over you, whereas in reality, they don’t have any power unless you give it to them.
Apart from the desire for power, and self enhancement, other reasons for bullying behaviour is the lack of interpersonal skills. Some people may not know how to appropriately communicate and relate to others. They may look for a scapegoat for their own actions proving the statement that bullies are cowards. They may be quick to judge and add on to the grapevine. When they judge and gossip, they put you down. By putting you down, they raise themselves high. Such a comparison and a feeling that they are a step above you, offers them a good boost. Most evils in life sprout from an ever-hungry ego.
A reader may think that I am joking or making up stories but truth shall be told; I have once met a female manager who had said that she only likes to recruit males under her, so that they could be her little ‘slaves’. A male manager recently mentioned that he likes to have ‘weak’ women under him who are easily stressed out over work. He said that he likes and enjoys the drama.
If you are being bullied, recognise it and realise that you are not the source of the problem; the control or the power the bully has over you is the problem. Keep a diary that details the nature, culprit, date, time and place of the bullying experience. Bullies are driven by their personal interests, so expect them to deny or misconstrue your accusations. Hence, try and always have a witness with you during meetings with the bully. Report the behaviour to an appropriate person who has the authority to confront the bully.
Let the bully know that, you know he/she is bullying you. Separate him/her from his/her bullying personality. When the situation is not so tense, you could say jokingly ‘this is your bullying ego talking, not you. You are so much smarter when you are yourself’. Personally, you may also want to cultivate some healthy copying mechanisms; talk to someone and ask others what they would do if they were in your position. Take action, be diplomatic and anchor yourself to inner resilience. What does not kill you, only makes you stronger.
Employers should work on a zero-tolerance, anti-bullying policy. There are not many companies in Sri Lanka that have a code of conduct for behaviour. This is crucial, as people have a way of defending themselves in the face of chronic and undue stress due to bullying or harassment. HR departments in organisations have a tremendous task on monitoring and addressing these issues, requiring them to lead by example first and foremost. Ideally, HR should accommodate a counsellor who preserves confidentiality at all times and who would work in the best interest on the victim. This counsellor should be unbiased and have the authority to influence the top management with factual information about the human relations. HR should also educate top managers of the adverse business impacts of bullying - burnout, breakdowns, reduced productivity and/or bad corporate employer brand.
While cheering the brave men and women out there who fight for others’ rights at work even at a small level, I thank the individuals who gave me the permission to mention the above examples. If you are aware of bullying in the workplace and do not take action, then you are accepting a share of the responsibility for any future abuses.
The beginning is the half of every action and saying ‘no’ to anything that is destructive and damaging to you and others can be the ultimate act of concern at work. Keeping your mouth shut today about what is happening to your colleague, gives no guarantee that you will be safe tomorrow.
(Rozaine is a Business Psychologist who deals with workplace issues. She could be reached at rozaine@forte.lk).
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