Quips and courtable quotes at Voetlights

Last night the black gowned ladies and gentlemen of the legal fraternity had their yearend fellowship at the Cinnamon Grand. It is one event where the epicurean delights are enjoyed to one's heart's content in a convivial atmosphere. This is also, the one function held annually, for now over a century, in memory of a distant Dutch jurist Johannes Voet (pronounced Foot) at which slander, contempt of court and insulting the judiciary is permitted. And it comes mainly from one called The Scribe, a name borrowed from the ancient Egyptian period, they say.

"There were dark rumours that the assets of even this Society will be taken over by the government, not because they were underutilized, but as the Voetlights Society is among the chief violators of the "Mathata Thitha" policy. We wish to inform the authorities that the Voetlights Society strictly follows the policy of "Thithata Matha" and nothing else", announced The Scribe gallantly.

There was the good humoured dig at a High Court judge, for instance, who gave a controversial judgment in a controversial high-profile case recently. The judge is reported to have asked for extra security in view of the death threats following the order. The Judicial Security Division has advised the judge that the only security needed would be a lightning conductor, The Scribe said.

The former Attorney General was also not spared. There was a proposal, he said to appoint him "lunchtime AG" because in his new posting he could discharge murder suspects close to the government when the incumbent AG was at lunch betwen 12 and 1 pm.

Then the scribe yarned referring to a meeting between Justice Minister Rauff Hakeem and the Swiss Minister for the Navy recently at an International Conference. The scribe said rhe amiable Hakeem smiled and asked how Switzerland which is completely landlocked and has no access to a sea has a Minister of the Navy. The angry Swiss Minister is said to have retorted; "How come you are Sri Lanka's Minister of Justice, when there is no Justice in Sri Lanka!"

PR boards for MR

The government's public relations promoters are banking more on billboards around the City of Colombo.

The latest one outside the Colombo Fort Railway Station has a huge cut out of President Mahinda Rajapaksa shaking hands with Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. The picture was taken during the Commonwealth Summit in Perth in October.

COPE exposes daylight robberies

Some findings in the report of the Parliamentary watchdog that monitors public enterprises seem to have come from the leaves of Ripley's Believe it or Not.

A few of the gems:

• A land of 212 perches belonging to the BCC (British -Ceylon Corporation) had been sold to a private party for a paltry Rs. 87 million. At present the land remains abandoned.
• A barbed wire fence for the Eastern University was erected at a cost of Rs. 11,029,167. This is despite an allocation of ten million rupees being made to construct a parapet wall. The University had also accepted a bid to construct a chain linked fence that was 83 per cent greater than the initial estimated cost of Rs. 1,299,500 which had later been revised to Rs 1,881,600. A top official has now been interdicted.
• A former Minister of Environment had taken a vehicle belonging to the State Timber Corporation and not returned it. The whereabouts of the vehicle 65-4013 are not known. The Committee on Public Enterprises (COPE) had directed that the President and the current Minister of Environment be kept informed.
• The Development Lotteries Board pays Rs. 16.1 million as rent to a building. This is whilst its own building purchased at Rs 421 million is lying idle at Union Place, Colombo 2.
• The Paranthan Chemicals Company Limited, a state enterprise, has hired a lorry bearing number WP LH 7916 on a monthly rental of Rs. 173,000 on a three-year lease agreement. The vehicle is registered under the name of the Chairman of the company though the vehicle is government property.
• Mihinair continues to drain taxpayers' money. Its losses: 2007-2008 Rs. 3,356 million' 2008-2009 Rs. 4,657 million and 2009-2010 Rs. 5,722 million. A loan obtained from the Airport and Aviation Services is Rs. 500 million. Mihinair has also obtained a bank overdraft of Rs. 381.7 million.

Did the Transport Minister break speed laws?

The speed limit on the newly-opened southern highway is 100 kilometres per hour as has been widely publicized. Motorists have been warned that if they exceed this speed limit they will be penalized but that does not seem to have deterred Transport Minister Kumar Welgama.

He was heard saying in the full glare of the media that he drove on the highway himself, that too at 180 kilometres per hour. Whether this was before or after the official opening is not clear. Wonder what happens to all the traffic policemen who are supposed to monitor speed demons.

Maybe as they do on many other roads, they would have chosen to turn a blind eye at the high speeding tinted glassed Land Cruisers and Prados. That black glass is a passport for a number of such offences besides hiding the identity of the traveller.

Businessman says coconuts in his bag

When business entrepreneurs gather for an event, they talk of everything from space to minerals. The event last week was no exception.

Came question time and one in the audience asked, "What do you think of the old boy network."
Of course the questioner was trying to find out whether old ties, like the code of Freemasons, worked in the world of business. But the one who had to answer did not seem to understand that. "Yes, when they become old, they are a problem," he replied.

Not so long ago, sitting before a tribunal, the same person was asked whether he would like to testify in camera. "I don't mind the press being present," he replied.

It's a case of what the pithy Sinhala adage says Koheda Yanney, Malley Pol. (Where are you going? There are coconuts in my bag).

Asia Society stages double show on Lanka

The Asia Society of New York is playing it safe giving both sides of the Sri Lanka war crimes story, as it plans a public showing of the controversial Channel 4 documentary and the government-sponsored rebuttal. An invitation from the Asia Society says that for the first time both documentaries will be screened at one single event next week.

The evening's event will also feature Channel 4 film director Callum Macrae and Bob Templer of the International Crisis Group (which has made a strong case against Sri Lanka over war crimes charges). The panel is also expected to include a representative of the Sri Lanka government. But the flyer does not list any government official -- at least not at the time of going to press.

Although the Asia Society usually charges a fee for most of its events, the double documentary (two for the price of one) is free of charge. The flyer says Asia Society "is happy to provide complimentary tickets to you and your associates, and we would greatly appreciate your distributing this message via your contacts lists."

Who said there is no such thing as a free lunch?

Highway ride like home sweet home for Rajapaksas

The chores of office for President Mahinda Rajapaksa are such that it leaves little time for the family.
This reality was underscored on November 27 when Rajapaksa declared open Sri Lanka's first highway, now operable from Kottawa to Galle. The next stage beyond Galle will take it to Matara.

From Welipenna, Rajapaksa chose to drive a Range Rover along the highway. In the front seat was first lady, Shiranthi. Seated in the rear were sons Namal MP and Yoshitha, a Naval officer. 'It would have been good if Chi Chi was also there," remarked Rajapaksa referring to his other son.

As Rajapaksa drove, Namal remarked that since 2002 the family had not travelled together. The last was when his father drove a car with all of them to Nuwara Eliya.

First lady Shiranthi noticed that Rajapaksa was exceeding 100 kilometres per hour and cautioned him that the police could detect it. The President said that he could not even feel the speed due to the new highway. He said that there should be a mechanism to warn drivers when they exceed 100 kph. Namal intervened to say "that task should be left to the wives of the drivers."

The journey ended at the Dodangoda inter-change. Shiranthi opened her hand bag, pulled out a two thousand rupee note and handed it to her husband. He paid the toll fee and went for a meeting in Karandeniya. Later, they were entertained to lunch by a staunch party backer.

The Rajapaksa journey along the highway was a nightmare for Rajapaksa's personal security staff. They were not in favour of the President driving and suggested that he travel in his usual motorcade. They had to play catch up following him.

However, Rajapaksa thought otherwise. He felt he should check out for himself the highway that he has just inaugurated.

God save Mother Lanka

Cutaway tails: When you are in Britain, be a Brit	Heady start: Top hat in hand

Has Sri Lanka's new envoy to St. James' Court (i.e. the United Kingdom) breached protocol? This is the question being asked by those at the Foreign Ministry in Colombo, though there was no one to give an official response to our queries.

The breach is in the dress code of the political appointee who went to see the queen dressed in a cutaway tails, the dress of the Britisher, and not the dress of the country he represents. According to insiders at the Foreign Office, the protocol instructions from the Palace are that a new envoy and his or her entourage should be clad either in the national dress (of the sending state -- in this case, Sri Lanka) or tuxedo -- or in the case of a serving military officer, military suit. There is no other option given.
In this instance, Sri Lanka's envoy has chosen the host country's dress.

An old timer recalled that even the Anglophile Sir Oliver Goonethillake, onetime Governor General of Ceylon, when he was High Commissioner in London, wore a closed collar black tunic shirt and trouser.
A clarification from the Foreign Ministry would be welcome.