Wit, repartee and sparkling humour in Parliamentary debate have always been an admirable British tradition. It is indeed sad that what we see in Sri Lanka is a Westminster model of Parliament bereft of its finer traditions and conventions. Abuse, catcalls, jeers and undecipherable cacophonies of unparliamentary language that should seldom or never pollute the sanctity of the country’s highest assembly have unfortunately become the order of the day.
The dignity and decorum of Parliament must at all times stand out as a shining example to all those who follow its proceedings. Tense and acrimonious situations of debate diffused by spontaneous laughter that follows the wit of a speaker are undoubtedly refreshing moments to the House as well as the galleries.
Sir Winston Churchill was a parliamentarian who epitomized this great tradition. Once a female heckler peeved by a remark of Sir Winston burst out, “Mr, Churchill if you were my husband I’d poison vour drink.” Churchill’s reply was, “If you were my wife, I’d take it.”
And when the same woman MP on another occasion screamed, “Prime Minister, you are drunk” Churchill’s calm reply was. “Madam I am drunk. You are ugly.... and I will be sober in the morning.”
In the days gone by our own parliamentarians were not far behind. The debates of yore were enriched by the repartee and wit of well-read,cultured men; and it was indeed a pleasure to read the Hansard or the parliamentary columns of the newspapers. Refined and dignified speech was strikingly characteristic of the times. “The Hon. Member is Sinhala by day and Tamil by night,” of Dudley or “Let lieing dogs sleep,” of SWRD or “I dare not bring my feet together......” of G.G. remain to this day unforgettable quips that rocked the House with laughter.
Expunging from Hansard of words, sentences or passages did not arise as parliamentarians cleverly achieved the desired effect by resorting to wit, the sharpest weapon in the thrust and parry of debate.
Sir John Kotalawala was once on the verge of calling a vociferous and rebellious MP ‘Cattle Thief.’ If he had done so the speaker would most certainly have got Sir John to withdraw such reference. But Sir John had his say. He silenced his adversary by saying, “Mr Speaker the Hon. Member for... is growling with the undigested horns of cattle in his stomach.”
On the subject of expunging statements from Hansard in a recent issue of a newspaper a Parliamentary source is supposed to have said that if an MP were to say referring to another MP, “In his school days he was a fowl thief.” it would definitely be expunged from Hansard by the Speaker. But perhaps the Speaker would have been in a quandary if only the MP had chosen to get his message across by saying, “In his school days he had the highest admiration for the ways of jackals and polecats.“ Or he may even have said, “Mr Speaker at the time my Hon, friend was a school boy the disappearance of fowls in the neithborhood was a common occurrence.”
The startling announcement by the state radio that the “court had decreed Raja’s auction,” was heard on the day of his sale. True to Sri Lankan form, no one came to defend him. Nobody pointed out that his belligerent attitude was probably due to callous treatment - his mate isolated in a cage in a separate part of the zoo, while his offspring was dumped in far-off Pinnawala. Or perhaps his tantrums were the outcome of wrong handling by his mahouts.
Is it not said that the average Sri Lankan mahout is not only drunk most of the time, he is totally untutored in elephant care? We believe there should be periodic refresher courses for these men for the sake of both themselves and the animals. Are we not inviting trouble when we entrust our unqualified mathouts with the task of controlling the tonnage of potentially lethal power that makes up an elephant? Even the boast that the mahout knows mantras is doubtful, as not a single magic word appears to surface in times of distress
After so many years of obedient servitude and helping to swell the coffers of the zoo, should not Raja have been given a better deal than selling him to the highest bidder? Being in Sri Lanka, we also know- exposure to all the drunkard mahouts in the area as target practice, infliction of excruciating pain, starvation, systematic breaking down of the will, self-respect and dignity, subjugation by sadistic attacks by chains, clubs, whips, pointed instruments etc. until the animal succumbs to being an automation, waiting for the relief of death.
When the almost one million rupees changed hands in the zoo that day, was it any different from what happens when the carter, after draining the sweat and blood of his bull by the hardest and cruellest labour finally deposits him, reduced to skin and bone, in the nearest slaughter house.
So, is it possible to change Raja’s fate?
The question of garbage disposal is one that gives all Mayors and Pradeshiya Sabha Chairmen headaches on a daily basis. But the headaches those in authority may be getting are mere twinges compared to the blinding pain those who live in the Kotte/Maharagama areas feel when garbage is thrown on the main roads in a haphazard fashion causing residents to wonder what the Pradeshiya Sabhas are doing.
This last Sunday (15th of Feb.) a lady driving a van was dumping her garbage on the main Thalawatugoda Road right opposite the back of Parliament. Sad isn’t it to think that within sight of our seat of Government we have such eyesores! Anyway, to get back to the lady in question... I happened to be driving past and I slowed down to speak to her and tell her that this was not a garbage dump.
Unfortunately I have been told that there is no punishment for anyone caught in the act of littering unless one wants to be thoroughly unpleasant about it and make Police entries etc. I see no reason why private citizens should waste time making such entries if citizens would just be aware that they should not infringe on the comfort of another citizen. The number of the van was 50-77... I shall not give the last two numbers so as not to embarrass the young woman driving the van but if she reads this, I hope she will kindly refrain from further felony!!
More letters to the editor * Recognise who is a fanatic and who is not * Let’s rally behind the media * An adroit attempt to twist facts
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