Rajpal's Column

7th February 1999

Story of guts, wind and words

By Rajpal Abeynayake

Being Ashraff is rough these days. Mr. Ashraff is surfing out there, and suddenly he feels he is caught up in a real snorter with his surfboard. Ashraff's playful youthful and glamorous companion is Rauff Hakeem, a man who minces his words handily and plays a great second fiddle. But , to have indigestion just after the fasting season of Ramazan is galling, it's really galling, is it not?

Before Ramazan, Ashraff ate his words. now he doesn't know whether to eat his words or throw them up. So his case of verbal indigestion must be really difficult on his gut.

But, if he had a gut, real guts I mean, he wouldn't have half these problems. If he had real guts, Mr. Ashraff could have walked out on the PA, said goodbye to the lady and given his indigestion a bit of a rest.

With all those Ramazan fasts over the years, surely one would have thought Mr. Ashraff would have developed some tough intestines. ( Makes us wonder whether he cheated on the fast — but perish the thought, Mr. Ashraff doesn't cheat, he is only a friend of a party that cheats.) So, if Mr. Ashrafff didn't have the guts, I mean didn't have guts, isn't it fair to wonder whether Mr. Ashraff has any guts at all in the first place? I mean, is it possible that his abdominal piping is busted, or he was born without it?

Because, in case you wondered, a person who has guts, must feel it in the guts. Inshallah, a gut feeling is one of the most fundamental of oracles. If you don't feel it in the gut you don't feel it at all, which is why they say even in the good old Sinhalese that a gut feeling is a premium thing . ( "bokkeng denawa'' or "bokken kiyanawa.'' The gut feeling transcends idiom; transcends language.)

But Mr. Ashraff didn't have any gut feelings when he said he will go it alone at the Wayamba provincial elections. His head might have told him that he can get away with it, and that he is a stronger match for madam when high political stakes are involved. But he made a mistake of relying on his head without getting in touch with his bowels. Any person who had a hunger for a Ministerial post would have known in his gut that he can't preserve both his Ministership and his independent political ambitions. Who knows, to look at it benignly, that long fast in January may have damaged Mr. Ashraff's guts.

Of course to talk about gut feelings, somebody might say you need to have feelings in the first place . Does Mr. Ashraff have feelings? Did he for instance, display any, when he kicked out his late confidante Chanaka Amaratunge and gave chubby Chanaka's promised parliamentary seat to one Asitha Perera, for instance? But to be charitable, maybe Mr. Ashraff gave his feelings a day's leave when he did that.

So it is all the more strange that in the backdrop of all these things.,that Mr. Ashraff and his party are now displaying all kinds of blushes and shy feelings. His congress is blushing in shame at the way the elections were rigged, but are the blushes because of the elections , or because the party is still in the alliance despite the elections? And Mr. Hakeem , he says that the party doesn't know whether it is best to come or go, so therefore its staying put. The party wants to go because of the election embarrassment. The party wants to stay because Madam is the only one who can solve the ethnic crisis. So the compromise is to stay put. Talking of guts, really, are Mr Rough and Mr Cream suffering from a case of all wind and no faeces, or as they say, all spart and no fshit?

Commentary

Editorial/Opinion Contents