The Fifth Column

7th February 1999

Wins a few, loses many

"Thaaththa," Bindu Udagedara asked, "what do you think of our cricketers?"

"What do you mean?" Percy, Bindu's father asked, "why are you worried about them now? After all, they are now out of the tournament in Australia...."

"But Thaaththa," Bindu said, "earlier they used to win most of the matches and lose a match every now and then...."

"And now?" Percy demanded.

"But now, they seem to be losing most of the matches and winning a match every now and then...."

"That is a typically Sri Lankan attitude, Bindu," Percy said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Why, Bindu, Sri Lankans have only two religions...."

"But, Thaaththa, I thought there were at least four major religions in our country," Bindu said, puzzled.

"No, Bindu," Percy explained, "we have only two religions: cricket and politics...."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because," Percy said, "we treat the people in both cricket and politics like Gods and expect them to perform miracles...."

"And when they fail?"

"Ah, yes, when the Gods in one fail..., we expect the Gods in the other to perform...."

"And right now, the Gods in both these 'religions' seem to be failing us," Bindu said.

"That's true," Percy agreed, "but I think our cricketers, specially Murali and Arjuna were treated rather badly in Australia...".

"Why is that, Thaaththa?"

"Well, as far as cricket is concerned, the Englishmen and the Australians do seem to think that they are still the colonial masters, though it is now over fifty years after independence…" Percy said.

"Is it really over fifty years Thaaththa?" Bindu wanted to know.

"What do you mean?" Percy demanded, "can't you remember we made a big issue about that 'Swarna Jayanthiya' last year...."

"But Thaaththa," Bindu argued, "at Thursday's Independence Day celebrations, Satellite said we gained real independence only in 1956.

"Ah, Satellite," Percy said, "don't you know, Bindu, Satellite is always late, isn't she? She was late for the ceremonies even on Thursday. So independence for our country has also come late for her, Bindu...."

"But Thaaththa," Bindu reminded, "what about our cricketers...."

"Well, what about them?"

"Do you think we can win the World Cup later this year?"

"That is difficult to say," Percy said, "because so many of them are now injured...."

"So, you have your doubts...."

"But, of course," Percy said, "there is one way where we can be guaranteed of winning the World Cup...."

"What's that, Thaaththa?" Bindu asked, startled.

"We must drop all the players who are out of form...."

"But who will replace them Thaaththa?"

"Why, Bindu, there are so many players who can assure victory even before the contest has begun...."

"Who are they, Thaaththa?"

"Why, Bindu, we must pick seasoned players like D.M. Dassanayake, S.B. Dissanayake, Fernandopulle and Mahinda Rajapakse," Percy said.

Bindu knew he could not disagree. He thought he should not ask who the captain of the team should be.

Rajpal Abeynayake's Column

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