Tales of horror abound. Beaten, slashed even while pregnant, and severely burnt. Not by strangers but by the very lovers and husbands who have turned into monsters.
In some cases it was love at first sight, in others it was after a longer association – but for most of the victims their lives have taken a tragic pathway, leaving them mutilated, disfigured and disabled. Their young lives will never, ever be the same again.
Pretty Kamala* from Trincomalee was visiting friends in Balangoda when she met him. From the beginning, what she did not know was that he was not telling her the whole truth, for he was an army deserter. He was also an alcoholic. His “job” when she met him was selling moonshine (kassippu).
He pursued her ardently, even though her parents were opposed to their relationship. She was just 17, he was much older, when the marriage took place. With no permanent income, a home of their own was out of the question and they began life in the home of the husband’s sister. The sister too was married but was not able to have children, though she yearned for a baby.
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| Kamala |
Kamala was fortunate. Marriage was followed by the bliss of motherhood. The family was complete, with the birth of a baby boy. However, Kamala’s husband thought otherwise. Coaxing followed by beatings began, as he wanted the baby to be handed over to his sister for legal adoption, with the excuse that “they could always have another baby”.
The marriage turned sour. September 30, last year, is not only etched in her memory but seared into her body. Her husband furious with her for refusing to give the baby to his sister, allegedly threw the lit kerosene oil lamp at her, grabbed the yelling baby and left home.
It was only after a while that her agonized screams brought the neighbours to her side to douse the flames and take her to hospital. Even now the burns ooze and she is in pain.
“In recent times, we seem to have an increasing trend in domestic violence where in addition to being beaten and battered women are burnt,” says the Executive Director of Women-In-Need (WIN), Savithri Wijesekera, whose organization has been supporting victims such as Kamala.
WIN established in 1987, provides services and support to victims and survivors of domestic violence and all forms of violence against women and children. Among its many firsts are the setting up of crisis counselling centres, a shelter for victims, a helpline, one-stop crisis centres at several hospitals, and a counselling service at a police station.
“WIN has got several protection orders under the new Prevention of Domestic Violence Act," explained Ms. Wijesekera, adding that it had set up a Counselling Desk to provide psychological support to battered victims who come to the Police Women's and Children's Bureau at Fort.
Expressing serious concern over the “burning” of victims, Ms. Wijesekera says from January to July this year alone 35 burn victims have been reported from hospitals.
The case of Mala* from a village off Anuradhapura is no different, except that the mode of “assault” is acid rather than kerosene. Having worked in a garment factory in Sri Lanka, she set her sights on going abroad and did get similar employment in Jordan. Hopes of returning to a better standard of living within reach, she was ecstatic when she met her a potential husband working in the same field. He was from Ratnapura.
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| Mala |
With her precious savings and also the husband-to-be she came back to Sri Lanka, blissfully unaware that the man had lied to her from the beginning. He also had only Rs. 400, even after working abroad.
But when one is in love, money matters not. They married tried their hand at running a boutique but failed and decided to get back to the jobs they knew best – garment work. Renting a room they were in Katunayake only for three months, when Mala found a woman and a child on their doorstep. The child’s plea was heart-rending: “Please give my father back to me.”
Shattered dreams of a fulfilled life with children of their own made her weep, for then only Mala realized that the man she had married was already a married man. “Ape kasade avalangu karamu,” she had told her bigamous husband, explaining that they should invalidate their marriage.
When he pleaded that he loved her, in desperation to avoid a confrontation, Mala told him to go back to his first wife, get a divorce, sort out matters and come back. To her horror, he did just that, but something had died within her. She wanted no relationship with him.
He stalked her, first in Anuradhapura and then in Katunayake and it was on April 27, this year, that he confronted her and flung something at her. It was burning acid. The people splashed water on Mala who was writhing in pain and rushed her to hospital. Even now she is in agony.
These are just two of the numerous instances where brutality has left two young women scarred for life, both physically and mentally. The legal process will now take over.
Ms. Wijesekara says that unfortunately burning of victims seems a new and shocking trend in domestic violence in Sri Lanka. Earlier, such reports came mainly from India and Bangladesh.
Brutality seems to have increased as well. Where a husband would usually give a slap or two to the wife, though not acceptable, has now turned into more vicious forms of attack, she said.
Is it because Sri Lanka has been in the throes of a conflict for such a long time and people are inured to violence?
This is what we as a nation, so proud of being the repository of all four great religions of the world, need to find out. Why? Why are we treating the women we love with violence?
(*Names changed to
protect identities) |
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