Animals rule the roost at the Wendt

Contents It's football fever Power- line networking - Techno Page Royal exhibition Lankan hairdressers shine in Singapore Animals rule the roost at the Wendt Does your heart rule your head? Just an ordinary guy Shakes alive! McCartney children uneasy over dad's marriage

It is beyond me as to how our country got so involved in the World Cup. We aren't even participating! Yet everywhere I go and everything I see seems to scream 'Korea-Japan World Cup 2002'.

Take for instance a play I watched recently. During the interval, an elderly gentleman seated behind me could be heard whispering excitedly into a cellular phone, "What happened to the Turkey-Senegal match, eh? What? You didn't watch? What's wrong with you, go switch the TV on." Smack in the second half of the play came a soft ringing tone at which point a torchlight was flashed directly in my face! What did I do wrong? And then, "Turkey ah, okay then, go and study now, wait what time is the re-telecast? You don't know? Check the papers then."

What has happened to the cricket-loving people of our country? I tried questioning Sibling in vain. For he too has joined the ranks of the football freaks.

Is it effective advertising that makes football so popular? It is basically a European sport, which we have once again happily adopted. Right? "No," says Sibling, "It's a lovely game. 90 minutes of excitement, excitement and more excitement with the occasional dance to provide entertainment."

I simply cannot fathom why sensible people would spend their valuable time and resources to travel from point A to point B to watch their teams play, especially if point A and point B are thousands of miles apart!

Why again would a sensible person wear a sports shirt obviously printed for someone else? Is it an identity crisis? Why did a certain European country fall to pieces when a member of their team broke an ankle? (It was reported that the first item on the agenda that morning at Parliament was to pray for the recovery of the ankle - forget taxes and finances, this is way more important). "You ignorant fool," laughs Sibling "It's football fever."

Proceeding down a main road just the other day during lunch hour I was surprised to see a large crowd gathered around a popular electronics' shop. Another cricket match I assumed but was compelled to draw closer for further inspection. Heaven Help Us -They were watching a football match! (That easily accounted for the number of people I was unable to contact from 12:30 to 2:30 in the afternoon!)

I was still unhappily confused. A parent suggested that I watch a match, so believe it or not I did. Germany was due to play some other team and I settled down. A bag of popcorn in one hand and a glass of water in the other. I was ready.

The match began. The only thing this poor writer understood was the fact that there was one ball and two teams! Each player tried to bring the other player down and was invariably awarded either a Red or Yellow Card. Why? Sibling strode purposefully towards me and knocked off the TV - just as I was getting the hang of it! Annoyed I switched it back on. It was half time and the cameras were zooming in on the spectators and their outlandish outfits. That was it! I figured it out! The spectators were the reason that everyone was watching the World Cup!

Halftime over, the players once again took the field. Free kicks were awarded for unknown reasons. Corner kicks were awarded. How can these players not score a goal - they were worth millions of dollars! Truly shocking!

Another startling discovery was the number of Japanese fans with a certain midfielder's punk haircut! Why would a sane human being do that to himself? A little bit of investigating revealed that some of these players are rather good looking and that the women folk are therefore bound by principle to watch certain matches!

I checked the time - it read one and a half hours since I had sat down and the match was still not over! The score read 0-0 and it went on to a 'penalty shootout'. Watching that I cannot comprehend why that simple method was not adopted at the beginning. It would have saved so much time.

The atmosphere after a goal is scored is also rather entertaining. The players take pride in turning the football match into a gymnastic event and cartwheel round the goal post unendingly.

As Sibling ordered (threatened and blackmailed) me the following evening, I had to watch the Brazil England match too. Not to be outdone I thought it best to tape it - and ran into a range of problems. So watch the match I did. The score read 2-1 when a certain youngster was chased off the field after an argument with the referee (over his hairdo I presume!) At every point following that a certain Brazilian would suddenly collapse and cry out in pain. I am no medical doctor but I too know that a nudge on the stomach cannot result in instant brain damage!

I kept Sibling posted on the 'happenings' and found that football was playing a big role in my life too. When meeting friends at the supermarket - it was imperative to talk about football!

While I surrender my interest in football for the moment I cannot help but remember the words of a wise man who once said, "Why are so many people fighting over one football, forget cost and give them one each!" Now I wish I could!

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