At a point in Sri Lanka where gender equality has improved by leaps and bounds, there are still many ways to take it to that upper level. And the best way to achieve this is through implementing that severely lacking seven-letter word: ‘respect’.
The sad reality of it is that only one gender seems to be receiving this respect, and yes you guessed which one it is! In Sri Lanka, I have noticed an alarming decline of respect shown towards women. Although our social and cultural values have highlighted the significance of respecting the fairer sex, it seems to be heading downhill despite the emphasis placed on gender equality.
One way this constantly happens in society is through the discriminatory attitudes found in some Sri Lankan men. It is very important that the word here be some and not all because there are men who show the proper respect that women deserve. If you’re reading this column for the first time, you might be wondering why I’m ranting on and on about respect. Well, the word itself implies treating other individuals in the same honourable that you would wish to be treated. And then there is the viewpoint that respect should be earned rather than just showering it uselessly on a person.
But the fact of the matter is that even if our hardworking and deserving women have earned the right to be respected, most of them have not received a shred of it in any form or shape. I have always felt that a society where both men and women can appreciate and treat each other with dignity has more of an opportunity to prosper and flourish as a nation. If Sri Lankan women have made it a point to respect their men, then why is too much to ask the men to reciprocate in the same way?
I am by no means a sociologist, but I think the problem lies in the way that women voluntarily underestimate themselves. In my opinion, this begins at a young age when girls might be advised or told by women of older generations of their “weaknesses” when compared to boys of their age. This externally-imposed inferiority complex could influence these girls as they enter adulthood, where they might feel like respect from the opposite gender is something that should be appreciated and not be expected on a regular basis.
Once these girls are grown up, they might have a lack of self-confidence in them especially as they move about in society, since they do not know what respect from a man might be like. This could result in them not being able to stand up for themselves, and for men to take women as weak and feeble beings.
I can almost hear the soulful voice of Aretha Franklin belting out the lyrics to her infamous song, “Respect”. Women especially of my generation who have grown up in a somewhat modern society might find themselves overwhelmed and harassed by their male counterparts who seem to be losing this wonderful and noble quality of respecting women. On many an occasion, I have been sickened to my stomach to see how men lewdly comment on mothers and daughters who innocently walk on sidewalks, or make fun of lady drivers or lady motorcyclists.
When my friends speak to me of the sexism and discrimination they face at their individual workplaces, I wonder why such a culturally and morally conscious society as ours does nothing to prevent this from happening. And how about what women experience aboard public transportation, especially on buses? Why hasn’t any authority taken a stand to prevent any of these despicableness? It certainly makes sense to me as to how a little of respect of can go a long way.
What if all of those men who caused any kind of physical or mental harassment to women decided to show some respect instead of abusing whatever superiority that they have bestowed upon by society? We would be living in a much better and civilized society. As always, we need to remedy this sad situation. I think that it’s very important to give our girls the inspiration they need to be confident and strong, so that they can carry on these attributes to their adulthoods. Instead of hindering them their talents and capabilities, we should teach them how respect works both ways.
As women, we deserve to be respected, and our ability to stand for ourselves and our self-confidence will help us get what we have rightfully earned. Another step that could be taken is to teach boys from a younger age that respecting girls and women is in fact a positive characteristic rather than an act of surrender. Fostering this concept from a younger age will at least enable the future generations of women to enjoy the respect that they truly deserve.
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