Young
mothers in distress
It's
tonight
 Expressions,
a musical show in aid of the Ma Sevena home will be held
today, August 25 at 7 p.m. at the BMICH.
Members
of the Interact Clubs of the British
School in Colombo and St. Joseph's College stumbled
upon Ma Sevena quite accidentally. They immediately
decided to organise an entertainment show to collect
funds for the home.
"The primary objective is to collect funds for
the benefit of the home, but we also hope to promote
young and talented artistes from a variety of schools.
So our line-up will include not only professionals but
also amateurs in instrumentals and solo acts as well,"
says Maheshika de Alwis, the Co-Producer from the British
School in Colombo.
Wildfire, Antonio's Dance Circle and Independence Square
are amongst the professionals due to perform while the
amateurs include Dushyanth Weeraman, Nadine Samarasinghe,
Chrishantha Perera, Power Failure, Quelled Turmoil and
Mevan.
The event is sponsored by Elephant House, Sampath Bank
and Lady Lace Fashions. The Sunday Times and Yes FM
provide media sponsorship. Tickets at the gate.
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By
Ruwanthi Herat Gunaratne
I cannot look these girls in the eye. It
is an awkward situation. For I form part of society, which
unfortunately shuns them. They are the girls of today who
would have been the mothers of our future generation. But
something somewhere went terribly wrong.
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When
such a situation arises, the mother has a right to the
child. "But it is an illegal birth," says
SSP Premila Divakara, the Director of Children and Women's
Bureau of the Sri Lanka Police, "the ideal situation
is that either the mother or the mother's guardian takes
over the child."
If due to economic hardships such a situation is difficult,
the child may be given up for adoption.
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Nilanthi*
was just another twelve-year-old schoolgirl with exams to
pass and games to play. Her mother was working abroad. But
a chance situation left her in a precarious position. She
was pregnant and the father of her child was none other than
her stepfather. What was she to do? Where was she to go? As
the court case proceeded, this child was sent to the care
of the Sarvodaya Suwa Setha Seva Society (SSSSS) in order
that she maybe given adequate protection and therapy.
This
led to the setting up of Ma Sevena, a home for teenage mothers.
One and half years later, Ma Sevena now houses twelve girls
and two matrons.
The home
works just like yours and mine. The eight girls residing at
the moment wake up in the wee hours of the morning. They wash,
cook and clean. No outsiders are allowed within the precincts
unless special permission is obtained. Therefore, the girls
have no option but to work as a family unit, with the matrons
heading it all the way.
The only
difference in this family of eight is that when they sit down
for breakfast they are not alone. Their children sit beside
them, waiting to be fed by their mothers who are but a few
years older than themselves.
The work
is divided into a roster system. This helps make all the girls
feel equal. After breakfast it's a case of hurriedly dressing
for school. The girls are given lessons at the home itself
as it is dangerous for them to venture out on their own. Most
are to sit the Ordinary Level Examination at the end of the
year. It's not only schoolwork, though.There's plenty of time
following that to begin dancing and music lessons. And to
follow vocational training courses conducted by the matrons
themselves in basket weaving and sewing.
The building
is beautifully kept. Large pots decorate the entrance. Vases
full of early morning blooms are placed on gaily-coloured
tablecloths.
It seems
to be nothing more than a boarding school for young girls
between the ages of nine and eighteen. Nine you say? Yes.
They've become mothers at that tender age. Aged fourteen,
another mother runs after her screaming two-year-old child.
When we peep into another room, a thirteen-year-old rocks
a crying baby to sleep. This is life.
It cannot
be, cries our righteous society. Our fathers, our brothers,
our uncles cannot commit such crimes. All trusted. All revered.
It's sad to say but in most such cases these situations have
been caused by family members.
"The
problem lies in the fact that in the villages no one speaks
of incest. When the girls are asked to keep quiet they submit,"
says Mrs. Sushila Gunewardene, a psychologist who was attached
to the University of Sri Jayawardenepura as a Visiting Lecturer
and has been actively involved in caring for the mental health
of the young mothers at Ma Sevena.
"It
is not as though they choose to turn a blind eye, they know
of nothing better."
Another
young mother approaches us shyly. We had been given specific
instructions. "Do not question the mothers, do not dig
into their past lives. To relive the incidents will only prove
to be more painful."
We see
another mother singing. "For that child, the baby is
her whole world. She adores the baby but she herself is little
more than a child.
When
the baby was born, all she wanted to do was to feed the baby
herself. But she could not. Her body was so frail and underdeveloped
that she had no mother's milk." What happened then, we
ask, "The other girls fed the baby." These young
victims have found solace in each other. They hail from Kurunegala,
Galle and all over the country. Yet this common ordeal has
bound them together.
Most
of the court cases are still pending. The girls only leave
the precincts of the home to attend religious ceremonies and
on planned outings. A trip to the zoo a few weeks ago soon
became the highlight of this year.
"Each
child reacts in her own way," continues Mrs. Gunewardene.
"Some get violent, some go into a shell and refuse to
let anyone in. Refuse to relate the story, which in turn leads
to depression." Earlier on, one of the inmates used to
run and lock herself up in her room whenever someone was seen
at the door. "What has happened is that they have lost
faith in society. They see every stranger as someone who would
take advantage of the situation."
Priyanthi*
was happy. The incident behind her, she was happily settled
at Ma Sevena with a bouncing baby girl. One night however,
her behaviour changed. She became violent and began hitting
her child.
"You've
got to understand that these children had their future. They
wanted to be something. None of them wanted to be mothers
at fourteen. Now the baby is a hindrance. The baby is the
reason that they are not back in their villages under the
protection of their natural mothers. They feel deprived. And
as they cannot take it out on the fathers of the children,
they turn on the babies."
For Hemamali*
that one incident led to her life going astray. Following
this, she kept running away from one place to another. Roaming
the streets of one town before moving on to the next with
an entirely new bunch of male acquaintances, she was finally
brought to Ma Sevena, tired and pregnant. "We couldn't
change her. The influence was too great," says head matron
Mrs. Hema Wijeratne sadly.
But there
is sometimes a happy ending. Take the case of Nanda. On completing
eighteen years, she was found a job by SSSSS. The baby was
kept under the care of the nutrition centre, another project
of the SSSSS for the care of abandoned and malnourished children.
A chance meeting with a young man changed her destiny. Romance
bloomed. Nanda is now happily married. Her husband has adopted
the baby.
This
in turn poses another question, can these girls ever establish
a normal relationship with a man? "It will take time
and perseverance on our part," says Mrs. Gunewardene,
"but it is the wish of all the girls to start a family
of their own. Only time will tell." It is through no
fault of their own that these girls are in this position.
They require nothing but self-acceptance. It is surely their
right.
(*Names have been changed in order to protect privacy)
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