Feature: Mark of a Leader – A True Friend

By Timothy A. Edward

Recently, as we were passing Trincomalee, we were fortunate to see two lonely elephants. My friend with whom I was travelling said, ‘people need to be very careful of lonely elephants’.  This got me thinking. As a leader, do we roam around like lonely elephants frightening everyone in our path? It is true that on occasions it can become very lonely at the top. Although you might be surrounded by a number of people, as you climb the ladder of leadership, you might end up becoming very lonely. All this shows, mastering the art of friend makes it very important for a leader.  

Friends are there no matter the situation 

During prosperous times, followers and colleagues might laugh and cry with us and tap each other on their shoulders and give high-fives, but come bad fortune, the whole world will walk out and disappear like the thin vapor, but it is friends who will decide to stay. Whatever life brings, as true leaders we need to be committed to our people and help them see better days.

Respect and accept people as they are

In fact, the basic foundation of friendship begins with this precept of respecting and accepting people as they are. As leaders, this is one of the best gifts we can give others.  Everyone is unique, and they fill our lives with beauty, joy and grace in their own special way.   

Forgive human frailties

People can make poor choices. But great leaders do not hold people to their mistakes or discard them but rather deal with them with empathy and try to understand them. Then, as years go by, they see these frail followers become treasures, as their value appreciate in the eyes of the world with each passing year and finally, they too become transformed as leaders.

Desire the success of each individual 

Then, as leaders, we need to always think of the success of others, when all others might be thinking only about themselves. Help your followers and employees to enhance their talents and gifts. It is the individuals who get the most attention from their leaders who usually end up very successful.  As leaders, do we uphold the self-worth of individuals? How we respect the self-esteem of our followers and employees, will eventually determine our tale as leaders.  

What actions one can take to build lasting friendships

Here are some strategies for building lasting friendships. First, we need to understand ourselves, our needs, values and communication styles.  Learn to prioritise our well-being and values in our relationships.

Then, comes concentrating and improving on our communication with our colleagues and followers by developing active listening, expressing thoughts and emotions clearly, navigating through disagreements and conflicts in a constructive way. When we are reliable, dependable, and open in our interactions, showing appreciation and thoughtfulness in our everyday actions, this will build trust.

Finally, organise events to foster stronger connections, share fears and insecurities to deepen emotional connections and take time to acknowledge and celebrate milestones together.  If you do these things, when you take your final bow, your colleagues and followers will say, ‘True, we had a boss for a few years, but now we have got a friend for life. Our boss has been adding a touch of heaven to all our days.’