The foundational principle behind this first habit "Be Proactive" is that people have the freedom to choose and they are responsible for the choices they make. I keep asking people and my programme participants all the time if they have the power and freedom to choose? And surprisingly many say they don't. But in reality they do make choices every day sometimes hundreds of choices. Highly proactive people do realize and acknowledge this principle and do make choices according to their purpose in life. Also they own the circumstances and take responsibility for their actions too.

Reactive people blame it on everything around them. Last week we looked at the language of the proactive and reactive people and by the language itself you might have realized this fundamental difference. Reactive people look for evidence to support their mindset of this behaviour. They also feel like they are the victims of other people and circumstances too.

The victimitis virus
Some people suffer from a contagious virus; Sean Covey the best selling Author of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens" calls this virus as 'victimitis'. Perhaps you've seen it. People infected with victimitis believe that everyone has it in for them and that the world owes them something…..which isn't the case at all.

I like the way author Mark Twain put it: 'Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first'.

This brings us into a very interesting reality in what we see around us even in Sri Lanka. I would like to bring just one example of the few unemployed graduates who do anything and everything to point the finger at the Government or at someone else stating ' you owe us jobs', little realizing the dependency of theirs. Just think about only this situation and you will find the power of the Proactive Choice.

Besides feeling like victims, reactive people

• Are easily offended
• Blame others
• Get angry and say things they later regret
• Whine and complain
• Wait for things to happen for them
• Change only when they have to

Like what Dr. Stephen R. Covey says, when he was doing research in a library one time he found something interesting in a book where the Author said this very interesting but profound matter, "Between the stimulus and the response there is a space, in that space, man has the freedom to choose and in those choices you will find happiness and growth." Just think about this psychology and the effect it will have on each of us.

The challenge for all of us is that we do not have the space some time, but Proactive people create this space everytime, even in difficult times. Reactive people do not see this space even if it's available.
Next week we will look at some benefits of being Proactive…

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked throughout the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way"

VIKTOR FRANKL - Man's Search for Meaning