Last week we looked at one of the most powerful concepts of being proactive, the two circles, Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern. Your proactive focus depends on how much of focus you have on the inner circle.
Before we totally shift our life focus on our Circle of Influence, we need to consider two things in our Circle of Concern that merit deeper thought - consequences and mistakes.
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. Consequences are governed by natural law.
They are out in the Circle of Concern. We can decide to step in front of a fast-moving train, but we cannot decide what will happen when the train hits us. We can decide to be dishonest in our business dealings, while the social consequences of that decision may vary depending on whether or not we are found out [we have seen this happening even in Sri Lanka for small businesses and very large power houses which eventually fail with no way to go]. The natural consequences to our basic character are a fixed result.
Our behaviour is governed by principles [more details of understanding the principles appeared in previous articles dating back a couple of months]. Living in harmony with them brings positive consequences; violating them brings negative consequences. We are free to choose our response in any situation, but in doing so, we choose the attendant consequence. "When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other."
Undoubtedly, there have been times in our lives when we have picked up what we later felt was the wrong stick. Our choices have brought consequences we would rather have lived without. If we had the choice to make over again, we would make it differently. We call these choices mistakes, and they are the second thing that merits our deeper thoughts.
For those filled with regret, perhaps the most needful exercise of proactivity is to realize that past mistakes are also out there in the Circle of Concern. We can't recall them, we can't undo them, nor can we control the consequences. The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct it and learn from it. This literally turns a failure into a success. "Success," said IBM founder T.J. Watson, "is on the far side of failure."
However, not to acknowledge a mistake, nor to correct it and learn from it, is a mistake of a different order. It usually puts a person on a self-deceiving, self-justifying path, often involving rationalization (rational lies) to self and to others. This second mistake, this cover-up, empowers the first, giving it disproportionate importance, and causes far deeper injury to one's self.
It is not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us most, but it is our response to those things. Chasing after the poisonous snake that bites us will only drive the poison through our entire system. It is far better to take measures immediately to get the poison out.
Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again.
Being proactive in a very reactive environment is not so easy but if you focus all your energy on what I have mentioned in this article and the articles before, I am sure you will find that you are shifting slowly towards making the right choices which will lead to be more proactive and make it a habit.
|