Mrs. Anumaana visited the supermarket the other day with the idea of buying a very mundane product – a small can of Brasso, for the routine polishing of brassware in her house. She was informed that this item had got completely sold out in the past few weeks. Mrs. Anumaana tried every other supermarket and kaday in the area, only to hear the same story. Talking to the salespeople she learned that this surge of customers snapping up the item and causing a shortage, had consisted entirely of politicians. Apparently they needed the polishing materials desperately, in order to shine up their halos before mounting the election platform.
But Mrs. Anumaana did not have to wait long. She soon found a whole slew of alternative polishing products in the supermarket – so many brands, in fact, that she was baffled by the range and variety. The business people hadn’t wasted a minute, cashing in on the new market opportunity with the onset of election fever. Here’s a sampling of the new halo-product labels she read on the shelves:
- “Perma-Shine” – Eliminates the rust of corruption even as it shines your halo to dazzling brightness!
- “Ever-Bright” – Keeps your halo from getting tarnished through any stormy weather!
- “Mud-buster” – A mud-resistant polish that keeps your halo intact through the fiercest mud-slinging contest.
- “Pole-vaulter’s pick” – Your halo will match, no matter how many times you change your shirt.
- “Glow-to-go” – Keeps shining no matter where you’ve been and how you plan to travel – white van, Black Maria, number plate-less vehicle etc.
- “Aththa Katha” – Gets brighter with every lie uttered.
- “Quick Fix” – The economical option for those on a tight budget. Expiry date January 26 2010.
- “Glow Worm” – Worm your way through the dirt and come out shining!
- “Mama Saanthaya” - Use this to acquire a greater aura of saintliness.
- “Mama Raja” – Use this and wear an air of majesty wherever you go.
When Mrs. Anumaana turns on the TV nowadays, what she sees is a never-ending caravan of politicians in various attitudes of piety, visiting temples and other places of worship to obtain the blessings of all the devas in the pantheon. In order to sit through this spectacle she usually amuses herself by comparing the sexy bodies of the politicians - since one has to admit, this kind of “media exposure” is somewhat rare.
But now with the ongoing contest, Mrs. Anumaana has an additional pastime when she turns on the news. That is, to try to figure out which halo-shining product each politician has used. Since she belongs to that large and unpredictable category of “undecided voters,” who knows, Mrs. Anumaana might even end up making her decision through a process of selecting the brightest halo … to give her a “brighter future!” |
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